What Matters In The End?

August 7, 2011
By , Paris, IL
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you, I really do! You’re the only one I want, Ill give up everything for you!” He said focusing intently on the ground.
Why did this have to happen? Everything was perfect between us. We both loved life and everyone in it then suddenly, the truth was revealed.
“James, you cheated!” I said from my place at the other end of the couch.
My eyes had grown weary from lack of sleep. I had been up all night finding out the secrets of that fateful night. But even through my weary eyes I couldn’t help but notice how strikingly beautiful he was. His electric green eyes, his square manly jawbone, black short buzz cut, his chiseled muscles, all things I had once found comfort in. But now they were just features on a boy who I felt like I didn’t even know anymore.
“It was an accident Brooke! I don’t have feelings for her! I only want you! Please just take me back, Ill do anything!” He said, his eyes welling with tears.
It would be so easy to just forgive him right now, but I can’t. I was raised to be a strong independent woman. Independent woman didn’t take back cheaters, right?
“I can’t take you back James! How am I supposed to know that you won’t do this again!” I said trying to sound strong and like I knew what I wanted.
But on the inside, I was scared, and hurt, and confused. Before all of this happened he was the only point of stability in my life, and now my world has been turned upside-down. I looked out the window. The rain came down in random splotches, like you never knew where the next patch would fall, just like the situation I was in. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do or what would come next. My future was dependent on these next couple minutes. I could choose to do the thing I wanted so badly to do; move to his side of the couch and have him wrap his arms around me like we’ve done so many times before, or I could remain where I was, distant and alone, with only my pride to accompany me.
“Brooke, you may not believe me or want to believe me but I’m telling the truth, without you there is no me. I made a mistake and if I could do anything to change it I would, but I can’t. But I can promise you that it will NEVER happen again. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Please just don’t go. I need one more chance” He spoke in a slight whisper.
I caught a glimpse of the tears rolling down his cheeks before he quickly wiped them away with the backs of his hands…oh how badly I longed for those hands to be holding mine again. What do I do? Do I take him back or hold on to my pride. In the end, what matters more? Can pride hold you when you’re parents have been fighting and you feel alone? Does pride tell you your beautiful at random times just to see you smile? Does pride wipe the tears from your eyes when you think the whole world has turned on you? I thought about this for a moment and then knew I had made my decision.
“Just hold me.” I said scooting closer to him and resting my head on his chest. I could feel his heart beat and could hear my own pulsing throughout my body. Because in the end, aren’t we both just two beating hearts?

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