Words I could't Say

August 6, 2011
All of our friends went to the movies tonight we're the only ones left though. The cold brittle air lifts the tension between us. We're talking but I'm not listneing the way I should. I'm just looking at her wear that amazing blue dress. She's cold so I let her use my horribly dingy jacket. I always meant to get rid of it but she never lets me she loves to much. I don't know when I fell in love with her sometime between kindergarden and now I geuss. She's every a guy could ever ask for she's so goregous but she's more than looks. She has a brain that would make Einstein green with envy. She's the only person I've ever known that could challenge the way I think. She has this sweetness about her that makes it impossible not wanting to be friends with her. We've been through so much together it sounds like something outta of a movie. We've been best friends since kindergarden when she was a tomboy and I was a shy litte kid. Then when we were eight her dad tried to shoot her but I took the bullet for her in my leg I still hav the the scar to prove it. When we were 10 we gave each other our first kiss so we could know what kissing felt like. It's just amazing being around her and it's never awkward just once I still remember. It was last year we went over to the pool together. She caught me checking out her curvacous body while I caught her checking out my abs. She blushed and smiled and she moved on. I didn't. I geuss it was from that moment on I knew I loved her. Last week was the hardest ever. I couldn't stand to watch her as she cried in my arms and poured out her heart out to me after boyfriend broke up with her. I thought about all of these things when I figured out what I had to do. I've been trying to do this forever and now's the time with renewed confidence I finally did the one thing I've always wanted to do.
"Hey" I said like we were meeting for the first time.
"Yeah whats up" she went and she gave me that smile that could light up the whole world.
Seeing those blue eyes of her pierce into my soul made the confidence I had only seconds ago ebb out of me faster than a rushing river. The sweat came down my face like a torrential downpour.
"Ummmmm I've always wanted to ask you this. Do you wanna go out on a day sometime." YES I finally said it! I thought to myself.
Her laugh was more brittle and harsh than the cold that was surrouding us.
"Awhhhh gosh you always know how to make me laugh. If I wasn't actually going back out with my boyfriend I would actually take you seriously you know that don't tease me like that." Those words ripped my heart out. I knew the words I had said were forbidden they words I couldn't say I knew that but I didn't anyways. My mouth knew how to respond when my heart didn't those words probably kept a disatorous night from turning into the worst night of my life.

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shoelessjoe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:42 pm
I really like this! The only thing i don't get is the &quote thing. It's still great none the less. :)
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