Pain and Love Ch. 1

August 1, 2011
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Blood was running down my hand and off of my fingers, onto the peeling paint of the old bleachers. I was thankful that nobody came to the baseball field tonight. I could hear other teens on the playground in the distance. I drew the razor over my wrist once again and let more blood flow out, into the puddle already formed at my feet. My hand was shaky and I lost grip of the tiny razor and it fell under the bleachers. I reached for the bag at my side but now there were more than one. Which bag did I grab? It suddenly occurred to me that the fifth cut I had made was deeper than the others so it produced more blood flow. Why did I do that? Why was I hurting myself? It seemed like the right thing to do at the time but now I realized how stupid it was. My vision started to blur and I heard a group of teens walking toward the bleachers and heard a boy tell the other to find me before i hurt myself. Too late. I stood up in an attempt to flee and headed to the top of the bleachers. When they got on the bleachers they saw the puddle of blood and froze in shock and horror. Then one of the girls made a snide comment.
Told you she was a freak. she said

I laughed and caught the kids by surprise. The blood was still dripping down my arm to my feet but i was too focused of the girl. I turned still laughing to look beyond the edge of the bleaches to the ground. I stopped laughing and turned back to them, dizzy. I managed to say : Aah s**t

they watched me fall and i heard a girl scream then the pounding of feet as they ran down the bleachers to make sure i was alright. I heard one yell at another to call an ambulance before I passed out.

I woke up to find myself in a hospital, scared out of my mind. I turned to see one of the kids from the group sitting beside me. He had been so concerned about me getting hurt. He was right and I managed to hurt myself a little more than intended though.I looked back at him and a wave of relief swept over him but why? I didn't even know him.
Who are you? I asked
He looked at me and frowned: You don't remember?
I shook my head . Something in my head told me I should remember him but another part of me didn't want to remember. I suddenly realized I couldn't remember anything before the first cut I made. The boy ran out of the room and came back a few minutes later with a nurse. She gave me a quick check-up and left the room. A moment later a doctor came in and started to ask me some questions.
What is your name?
I don't know.
How old are you?
I don't know.
When is your birthday?
Even I was caught off guard by that outburst. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. Only when I put my arm around my legs, it hurt horribly and I pulled it back to look at it. I had four scars on my arm. The fifth one was on my wrist and bandaged. I looked back at the doctor who seemed to know what I wanted to know.
You cut half an inch into your wrist. The bloodloss and the fall put you in a coma. You were out for three weeks.

I didnt want to hear any more and asked him to go. When he left the room I cried more and more because I knew it was all me. My fault for al of the pain. I forgot about the boy until he put his hand on my shoulder. I jumped until I saw it was him. I leaned toward him seeking comfort and he wrapped his arms around me. I moved over and let him get onto the the tiny hospital bed with me. I layed my head on his chest and felt his hand on my back. His free hand was brushing my hair out of my face. I quickly fell asleep and was undisturbed the rest of the day.
I woke the next morning to find him asleep beside me, my head still on his chest. But now the hand that had brushed the hair out of my face was on my hip. I didnt care honestl and put my hand on his chest. I looked over at the clock. 4:30? Why was I awake so early? I closed my eyes hoping to get more sleep. It worked. Everything faded to black. When I woke up, it was 8 o'clock. I shifted a little, making sure I didn't wake up the mystery boy. Crap! His eyes opened and looked right into mine. He slid his hand up to my elbow and over to my hand that was still on his chest. I felt so stupid. He saw me get embarresed and turn my head. He sat up and kissed my cheek. I turned back to see him smiling at me. I smiled back at him.

How can you fall for somebody you can't even remeber? I asked
Easy. You get to know them again. he said as he kissed my forehead.
Okay. Then I guess you should start teachin.

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