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Surrender

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I walk with a stiff back; my arms limping slightly and my eyes blurry and unfocused. My hair is disheveled; so is my mind. I raise my arm to the level of my eyes and sigh. Another inch of skin tanned and darkened. The unheard and futile attempts of my mother screeching and chirruping on and on about the effectiveness of lemon peel on oily skin thunders into the back of my head; my mind is filled with roars of shame and disgust.
A bead of saline sweat trickles down from a random strand of my hair and onto my forehead.
I wipe it away. But what I can’t wipe away is the usual feeling of unsettlement and discomfort that seems that have dwelled into my mind.
I’m tired of running. I’m tired of trying to overtake and having to prove my self again. I’m tired of spitting blood out of my mouth after every fall; tired of having to clean the wounds that have burned themselves raw into my flesh or I’d rather, my mind.
You’ll never really like me.
I’m not like them. I don’t have the perfectly straight hair or the glossy lips or the perfect complexion. But most of all, I don’t feel disconcerted by the sweat that clings on to your face after every run; I don’t feel mad at you when you lose a game.
But then again; it’s me.
A girl who likes running to leave behind the truth that hallows her personality like the lichen that clings on to the trees.
A girl who doesn’t bother to put on any make-up in the morning because she knows that the world cannot be bought by a mere mascara laden glance.
A girl who wears ripped jeans and converse instead of mini skirts and tank tops because she doesn’t want to start a relationship on the basis of physical appeal.
A girl who’s day becomes brighter when you so much as glance in her direction.
A girl who tries so hard but is helpless in the vicious spell of your love.

I break into a jog and let out the routine puffs of breath as I make my way for the changing rooms. There you are, leaning onto the railing, surrounded by a bunch of those pretty girls. All of them are beside themselves; circling you like a group of ardent worshippers while you stand in their midst; nodding and checking your watch occasionally. I glance up at your angelic face and our eyes meet.
You smile.
My heart skips a beat as I make a dash for the double doors leading towards the changing rooms.
My face is red; blood is surging through my veins; adrenaline bellowing fiery sparks into my body.
My lips break into a wide smile on their own accord.
There; you’ve just made my August worth living.



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This article has 11 comments. Post your own now!

athletegkb44 said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Great! I liked it. Can you read mine? And rate? Thanks!! It's Corrie George: The Basketball Game. :)
 
Writomania This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 7:38 am
Thanks :D.. and sure, i'll check out your work :P
 
Aderes18 said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 11:47 am

I really like this one. :)

I can really relate to the character in many ways. I don't really put on a lot of make-up like other girls either. I'm a runner and I am REALLY in love right now. (And it's really impossible and I'm 100% sure he doesn't like me like that but we're friends). Seeing him always makes my day, week, month...etc and I mostly see him at track. But I'm not depressed like this character is. :)

Right now, I'm happy. :)

But nice job. Really like this one. ... (more »)

 
Writomania This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 7:26 am

Thanks.. it was kind of like me; this character but im not in love at present and so.. my *secret guy* is just fictional..

I'm pretty sure that guy likes you.. you are such a wonderful person :D

 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 1:26 pm
Yeah, I'm pretty sure. He's much older than me so...
 
Writomania This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 7:37 am
come on.. age doesnt play a factor in this. I mean; im pretty sure that i cant take the example of hugh hefner and that crystal harris because that mariage was plainly for.. um.. other reasons.. but they.. how about ashton and demi ? :O
 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Well, I keep telling all my friends and my mother that!(My mom doesn't care about age, just doesn't see why I like him)

I'm waiting until I'm a little bit older, just a couple of years and then I think I'll make my move. :) 

Because I'm fourteen and he's twenty-nine so...

I don't even know if he knows that I like him, I haven't even told him anything. 

I just really hope he doesn't get married in that time. 

 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Did I mention he's my track coach as well?
 
Writomania This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 5, 2011 at 4:13 am

well... if you're sure that it isn't an infatuation; then i guess things will work out in your favor.. i mean; its just so confusing.. im in so state to say anything to you in case i give you some wrong advice and you end up being heart broken..

 

 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 5, 2011 at 10:34 am

Yeah, it can be sometimes. 

No, I don't need any advice, thank you though. :)

I'm pretty happy about how it's gone so far. I'm letting destiny choose it all, which so far has been nice to me. :)

 
Writomania This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 8:19 am
Well in that case, I'm glad ;P
 
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