A Letter to my Sister's Future Boyfriend

July 20, 2011
By CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius


Greetings!


For dating my dear little sister, you must be either a very special man or a complete creep who wants to take advantage of her. If you are her first boyfriend, then I suspect it is the latter. All you have to do to disprove my theory is visit our family! If my sister has conned you into deciding to meet us, then you are either very brave or very stupid. Again, I suspect it is the latter.


Anyway, I guess you should know what to expect.


As soon as your vehicle pulls into our driveway, you will be watched. If you are even mildly aware of your surroundings, you will see three short, dark-skinned men in military gear. These are three of the seasonal Filipino workers we employ on our apiary. One of them will be armed with a pellet gun and another will be armed with my dad’s bear hunting rifle. The last one doesn’t need a gun; he’s a bull wrestler. While these three men are dangerous, they aren’t the ones you need to worry about.


At our front door you will be greeted by dad and his double-barrel shotgun. One barrel is filled with rock salt and bacon rind while the other has an actual shell. This is a warning as to what will happen if you break her heart. Still, dad is not the one you should be the most afraid of.


No, the person you should fear most is my mother. She has the aura of a military general and the ruthless streak of a Mafia boss. It is a rare young man that is not intimidated by her. Personally, I don’t think you are one of these rare men.


But if you love my little sister despite her psychotic family, you do indeed deserve her love. If you stick around long enough to marry her, then maybe I can accept you as my brother-in-law. Maybe.


The author's comments:
This is from my own point-of-view, but it is a fictional letter. Then again, this could happen in real life if my little sister brings a boyfriend home!

Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!

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This article has 234 comments.


on Jul. 24 2011 at 4:29 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Not all older sisters are as protective as I am. ;)

on Jul. 24 2011 at 4:25 pm
CookieMonsterAttacks SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
6 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I called you a lady, 'cause you're fat!" ~ Gracie G.

Too bad I don't have an older sister...):

on Jul. 24 2011 at 4:18 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Aw, thanks!  I'm glad you liked this.

on Jul. 24 2011 at 4:13 pm
TheHangingGirl BRONZE, Winter Haven, Florida
1 article 1 photo 250 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Poets utter great and wise things that they themselves can not comprehend."

This made me laugh and say," AW!" because i wish i had an older sister who would do that!

on Jul. 23 2011 at 11:49 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for commenting!  I'm glad you like it.  And yes, I'm very protective of my little sister. :)

on Jul. 23 2011 at 11:37 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

i like it i wish i had a little sis so when she gets bf i can watch event hough i've never had one

on Jul. 23 2011 at 7:33 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thank you! :)

on Jul. 23 2011 at 11:21 am
DaylightDarkness SILVER, Littleton, Colorado
9 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone's crazy. You know why? We all want to be normal. Well, we cant define normal, and, the people you can point at and say, well isn't he/she normal are rare. Doesnt that kind of defeat the pupose of normal? -My Friend

LOL!!! Very Nice!

on Jul. 23 2011 at 10:24 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thank you! :)

Kailey4 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 9:03 am
Kailey4 BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
4 articles 3 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Né io pitorre" - Michelangelo

HAAHHA!! Very nicee:)

on Jul. 22 2011 at 11:52 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

The snarky narrator is me, sophietle!  And I wanted to leave it to the readers' imaginations as to what I will if he breaks my sister's heart.  Trust me, it won't be pleasant *holds back maniacal laughter* ;)

on Jul. 22 2011 at 11:49 pm
sophietle BRONZE, Houston, Texas
4 articles 3 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters." - Seneca

Lol! This gave me a much-needed laugh. I love the snarky narrator, and your flow of ideas is very nice. 

Just one thing: the narrator never mentions what part he/she plays in the intimidation of the boyfriend. Since he/she has such a low opinion of theoretical boyfriend, it would be interesting to hear about how he/she would go about testing the boyfriend's mettle. Unless, of course, you prefer to leave that to our imaginations...? (tries to hold back flood of mental images)

Overall, very nice and well done!  


on Jul. 22 2011 at 8:02 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Of course not!  I'll tell him; that way I can be sure he understands! ;)  Thanks for commenting.

Kailey4 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 22 2011 at 7:53 pm
Kailey4 BRONZE, Simpsonville, South Carolina
4 articles 3 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Né io pitorre" - Michelangelo

Thats really nice and easy t imagine!! Are you really going to give that to your sister's boyfriend?:)


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