I am falling. Twisting and spiraling, gravity pulls me down with the harsh acceptance of all my life mistakes. It will end soon, I will hit the ground, and it will hurt. Hurt because, now, you are no longer there to catch me.

You once told me on a late night, “You can tell me anything” and “I will never leave you” or even better, even more painful, you said to me the three words that matter most, “I love you”. Those words, all of those words, gave me such happiness and I felt high above the world, nothing could come in our way. You. You were mine. And I. I was yours. But, now that I’m falling, I wish we had not gone so high… leaving us with such a greater distance to fall.

I know you will be fine. I will watch from the sidelines as you go on with your life, and each day, I will give thanks to God that you are well. I will pray that you are happy. And, I will look to Him for strength; strength to rise from where we have fallen, from where we hit the bottom of our love. Though, I know that whatever happens, no matter how painful the fall will be, I will always love you. As I told you once, “always”, I will always be there for you. And, even in the darkest of times I will be there with a light to help. For I know, that even if the scars of our love are ugly, they also show hope. Hope that one day, we will find our other half. And while the scars represent pain, they also represent our once-love. For, only deep love could leave such harsh scars.

I am falling… and you must let me. You cannot be there to save me this time. For you are the reason I am tumbling down. And if you catch me now, I will not be able to heal. I will fall. And the wounds will be deep, but I. I will fix them myself.

And, maybe, we are meant to be together. But, in order to stand back up from this ordeal, you must first let me hit the ground. You must first let me fall, all the way. And maybe, once I am standing again, we will have the possibility of “something more”. But until then, you can only do one thing. You must wait. And if you truly do love me, like you say, then you will let me fall, let me pick up all my broken pieces, and then you will come to me. If you truly mean the words you said to me. Words are empty. Actions are full. So let me do what I must, and if circumstance and fate lead, then I promise we will be together. In some form of love and or friendship we will be together again. Whether that includes dating or only being friends… we will get through this.

Of the few things that I am left with, I do have hope. Hope that we will survive the fall.