Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

It's My Choice

I sat in front of you yesterday and we talked a lot. You smiled at me and touched my hair. You called me pretty and said I was funny. When you looked at me as you gently removed strands of hair that had fallen into my face, I turned super red. You had your arm around me because I was cold and when I looked up into your eyes they were sparkling, as always. I could feel my heart thumping and I'm sure you could too. When I wanted to get up on the next step you held my hand and caught me when I almost fell. I loved the way we were together. But today, you changed. You wouldn't text me, and when I made pointless conversation about deserted islands, all you wanted to do was talk about "her". I guess yesterday truly was forgotten. Do you really like her? Because I could think of ten billion reasons why you shouldn't bother with her. But you didn't want to hear any of them. I told you anyway, about how obnoxious she was and how she completely ignored you last year. I told you I thought it was just infatuation. You told me it wasn't. You told me that she made you feel like no one else. How do I make you feel? I tried very hard that whole week, trying to make you feel great. And I did, but you played it off as "You're a great friend. You always know what to say to make me feel better." Then you'd pat my head and walk away. The next time I'd see you was with her. That's when I realized I was trying too hard. So I decided to leave you alone for a day. You came up to me and blamed me for ignoring you, but that wasn't what I was trying to do. Some days I hoped I would just get over you and all we'd have to be was friends. But you made it so hard. I just wished you would've understood. Understood how much I liked you that when I saw you with her that it hurt. I just wish I had the courage to tell you "Please stop. Stop making my heart jump. Especially if you don't feel the same way. I LOVE YO- I shouldn't have said that. But it's true." Too bad you would never know this. Any of this. Unless you wanted to. But it's your choice.

Two Years Later:

I did it. I got over you. Now we're best friends, which can be weird for me sometimes. As for you, I'm glad you found out what a manipulator "she" was. She wasn't good for you anyway.
You deserve much better. Two years ago I would've said "And I'm your much better! You deserve me!" But now, I'm happy with where we are.

That was my problem, I realized, I don't have to like every guy I meet. There's tons of room for best friends and I'm glad you have your spot in my heart, just not so close to where my future Love's will be. I hope soon, I'll find him with no problem. But this time, it's my choice.



Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

Site Feedback