Is this love?

June 15, 2011
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I took slow steps down the corridor.
It said:

I'll stay away from you.
I'll never speak to you again.
I'll stop bothering you.
I'll do anything you say.
But there's one thing I'll never do.
I'll never stop loving you.

The letter.
My letter.
The letter I had put,
Into his locker.

It was a vain poem. Full of pain. Misery. Love. Is this really love? Is it shameful? It's too late to back out now. He's probably read my letter already. I walked around the corner to the next hallway. There he was. Standing there, just like every day. Waiting for his ride.
But, today felt different.
Something was different.
That boy
The boy I had loved for over a year
had a girl standing there, waiting with him.
Holding hands.
Laughing.
I never knew I could be so hurt. But yet, I was.
I wonder, did he really take me seriously? That I would stay away from him? That I would never speak to him again? That I would never do anything again?
Who would've known, that I could ever be so heartbroken?
Shocked, I immediately dropped my belongings and ran. I didn't care where I was going to end up running to. I just needed a quiet place where I could figure out what this was all about. I was confused. It was as if the world that I had known had suddenly changed, and I wasn't the center anymore.

The next day

I looked left. There he was, eating lunch as if nothing had happened between us. He still hasn't spoken to me yet. I wonder what I should do.
Was he embarrassed?
Was he confused?
Was he just annoyed with me simply being there, having written the letter?
Pouring out my feelings?
Did he really not care?
Should I say something?
I fled the cafeteria, ending up by the school entrance, collapsed.
Tears flowed from my eyes, my mascara smudging. I heard a voice speaking to me.
The voice is blurry.
Then, I hear, "Are you alright?" I thought, No. I'm not alright. How could I be alright? The one I love doesn't love me back, he's with a different girl, and I don't know what to do. I ignored the voice, yet it spoke again. "If I don't hear an answer, I'm just going to assume you're not alright. Here, get up." The individual helped me stand. Whoever it was, I didn't need help. I broke away from his grasp and ran as fast and far as I could.

There was no end.





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