The Light at the End of The Tunnel

June 2, 2011
By , Park City, UT
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” - Buddha


Curled up in the cave of my blankets, hiding from the world, but mostly my insane mom who keeps asking if ice cream would make me feel better. As if sweet creamy goodness could fix my torn apart life, well actually it may help a little.


Tears rolling down my face, blackened from the make up that was acting as a shield from people bombing me with questions, “What happened?” “Are you okay?” I’ve heard those two questions today to last me the rest of my life. And the correct answer is, no, no I am most definitely not okay. If you look in my eyes, you will see that they are bloodshot from the salt water that is like a waterfall. And if you look at my smile, it’s nonexistent. Most important, if you take a look at my heart, you will see that it is torn in half, and it has been in half for probably that way for the past month. But the thing that haunts me is that I’m not able to “build a bridge and get over it.” Why is that? I couldn’t answer that to save my life. The images of three months ago still ring throughout my head.


When I fall asleep we are together, your arms around me, your lips on mine. I won you back. I got you to feel the same way about me as I do about you. It’s perfect, just a little to perfect. To perfect to be in this life at least.


THere is a beep from the corner as loud as a fire alarm. Crawling out of the cave the light beams through my window. And I wake up to reality, the reality that you are not in. All I know is the next minute of my life. Not a minute more. And not a minute back. Today we take it minute by minute, day by day.





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