Stay... Please

May 16, 2011
By , Rochester Hills, MI
Stay… please.

My eyes follow you as you walk away. I will wait for you. I want to be forever with you. You tell me you love me. It’s ok. I know it’s a lie, but I love your lies.

We’ve been together for 11 months. I hate to say it, but I will. You never were the best boyfriend. You never called me or held my hand, in fact, most days you didn’t even say hi. But that was ok. I loved you too much to care. I still do. Every glance at my forever silent phone, every moment with my forever empty hands, every silent walk to my classes, all of this was fine. Because I knew you loved me. Even if you would hardly say it or show it, I knew. I saw how when I needed you most you were there. How you would do small little things that most people would ignore. I saw your simplicity and humbleness, and I loved you for it.

However, things have changed. The dynamics of our relationship have shifted. I watch as you barley look at me anymore. I sit in silence as you never even text me. I never knew how much joy you brought to me until you stopped, until you stopped loving me. You haven’t broken up with me, I don’t know if you ever will. You never liked confrontation. But I can see. I can see the subtle changes in your eyes and words. I can tell.

I understand. I never had that much to offer you. You have so much more to give to the world than me. Your dreams don’t include me; they shouldn’t include me, for I am too insignificant. I understand this; however, I still wait for the words. The words that make me feel important because you thought of me, even if only for a moment. I wait for you to say it. To say, ‘I love you’. And that is all I do. Wait.

I walk to class and you walk beside me. To any that are watching it would appear that we are walking together. But they would be deceived; it would be more realistic to say that we just happened to be going the same way at the same time. And in some ways, even that is a stretch. However, I don’t care. I’m just happy that I can see you. We stop in front of my class and you turn towards me. My eyes are glued to your face, searching for a sign, any signal that says you care about me. I search in vain and find nothing. You alternate your gaze from a spot just above my head to your feet. I wait for you to do something, anything. You give one final glance in my direction, give me a quick good bye, and then you turn and leave. I watch you go and get swallowed in the endless hallway.

I am left with only one thought, one wish:

Stay… please. I want you to be with me. I want you to love me. I know I am selfish. But please, if I can only have one thing. Would you stay, please, for me?





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