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There comes a time when you have to choose what is right and what is wrong. That decision can change your life forever and for me it did. However there was not really a matter of what is right for me and what is wrong for it, at least not to me. See my decision was between being with someone I wanted and being who I wanted to be as opposed to who other people wanted for me and who they wanted me to be.
My decision was made toward the end of my senior year in high school when I was choosing on where to go and what to do next. I wanted to take a year off of school because I was not ready to go to college yet but my parents wanted something else. They wanted me to do what was expected of me but the problem was… I never did what was expected. I did not like to follow rules or be told what to do so normally I would do the opposite. Maybe that was why I wanted so desperately to be able to pick up and leave. My parents and I had been fighting more and more about what I was going to do. I had not yet made my decision when he moved here. I had not yet decided what to do when everything changed.
I know what you’re thinking why would you let one person influence your decisions so much? Why would you do something so stupid for a boy? The thing is I do not know and I doubt I ever will fully understand why I did what I did. It was close to graduation when he transferred to our school, which is why we were all surprised to see a new student when we came back from spring break. I still remember the first time that I saw him because it was then that I knew he was different. He stayed apart from everyone never getting to close to anyone else just keeping to himself.
He intrigued everyone, me included, because he was so carefree of what everyone else thought. We were a remotely small town so it was no news that he had moved here so that he could live with his aunt and uncle. His parents had kicked him out of his house for some reason, one of which no one knew. He would have been on his own had his aunt not asked him to come live here and help out with his cousins. Now I only knew all of this because my mother was the town gossip, she was always in everyone else’s business but of course freaked whenever someone got into ours. She said that people being in our business was different then her being in everyone else’s. I saw no difference and felt that she was quite the hypocrite for being that way but that was just how my mother was.
Anyway, back to him. His name was Remus Marks and he was nothing like anyone else here. There was just something about him that felt so familiar but I could not put my finger on why. He kept to himself so it was a couple weeks before I actually talked to him. However, when I first met him that was it. That was the start of something new for me. There was no turning back after that because things had already been set into motion.
I had been sitting in the hallway before school when I heard someone approaching. I did not look up because I was engrossed in the book I was reading and so I did no pay any attention to who was coming towards me. The footsteps grew closer and slower as if they had noticed that I was sitting on the floor. The person continued to walk slower and slower as they grew near. I decided to look up as I finished the page that I was on in order to see who was coming toward me. I looked up from my book and turned to the left to find that the person had disappeared from site. The footsteps had stopped as well so I figured that the person had gone into one of the classrooms. I looked to the right and was greeted by a pair of black combat boots matched with a pair of legs covered in worn jeans.
I looked up until my eyes met those of the person standing to the right of me. I was surprised when I finally realized whom those combat boots belonged to and from his amused smile I could tell he saw just how surprised I was.
“Hi.” I said as I looked up at him.
“Hey.” He said as he nodded his head in acknowledgment.
“Umm… So why are you here so early?”
“My aunt needed to be to work early and she normally gives me a ride so that I don’t have to catch the bus.”
“Oh, well that is nice of her.”
“Yeah. So do you always come and read modern classic novels this early?”
“Not really… Just wanted to get out of the house. It is a bit tense there my parents are a bit controlling.” I admitted.
“I just wish I could leave sometimes. You know? Just get way from it all go live on my own. It would not even have to be on my own I could go with anyone for that matter, even you, just as long as I was away from my parents. I mean I know they are just doing this cause they want the best for me but I just need to be able to breathe. Not that you would go with me or anything I mean we barely know each other…” I said trailing off.
“Let’s go.” He said reaching a hand down to me.
It took a moment for his words to register and even when they did I sat there for a minute. I thought about all my parents wanted for me and I thought about all I wanted. I wanted to write. I wanted to get away, and be able to breathe. I wanted to be able to live my life.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Let’s go. Come on we can leave get out of this place and just be on our own. I know how you feel I left home for a reason and being here is not what I had in mind when I left but I was not sure where to go. I know now that here was the right place at the time but I am not staying here. My aunt and uncle know that they have been trying to get me to stay but it’s no use.”
“Look, as much as I want to leave right now. I can’t. At least not right now if you ask me in a couple months after graduation. Even an hour after graduation my bags would be packed and I would be gone in a minute. Not now I need to at least graduate first. If you can give me that much then the minute we get those diplomas we’re gone.” I say reaching for his still outstretched hand.
“You sure your willing to go off with some stranger?” Remus asked as he helped me stand up.
“Your not a stranger at least, you won’t be one for long.” I replied with a smile.
“I hope your right about that.” He said making me blush.
“Promise you won’t change your mind?”
“There is no way that that could even happen.”
I looked up into his eyes and saw that he really meant what he said. So I did something I would have never normally done. I stretched so that I was standing on my tiptoes and I leaned toward him. Catching him off guard I kissed his cheek and then moved apart from him releasing his hand putting distance between us. He raised his hand to touch his cheek where my lips had touched, as he looked me in the eyes.
“You really are not something I was expecting to find here.” He said almost to himself.
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.
“You surprise me and it feels almost like I have met you before. I know that sounds weird but, that is how it is.”
“I get what you mean.” I said looking up at the clock on the wall opposite of us.
“You sure we cannot leave now?” He asked.
“We cannot leave now. I promise as soon as we graduate we can go, get out of here. We will be free. “
“This is unexpected.” Remus whispered as he pulled me close.
“Totally unexpected but, this is…” I started to say but was not sure what to say.
“Just the beginning.” Remus finished for me.
I knew then that that was just the beginning of what was in store for us. Our friendship, relationship, or whatever it was that was going on between Remus and I was surely something unexpected. We had not spoken before that day but from that day on there was not a day we did not speak.