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Never Let Your Light Go
I sat there lost in the dark abyss of my mind. On the out side I was an artist, a Geisha. But on the in side I was a soul trapped by forbidden love. Walking around with a painted face and a painted-on fake smile, to hide the truth behind the mask. Destined to live on as a geisha, but never allowed to love the way I really did.
As my mind began to wonder, images of my haunted past swarmed around. Images of the crystal water in which we swam, as his blue eyes illuminated my soul. That was my first day that my heart began to feel the pain of earnest love for Toshiro. It was like all the stars were brighter and my heart grew warmer with every word or glance he gave me. He had found a way to my heart and then everything else became quiet, like the snow.
As summer faded into fall the winds of time blow and turned to wheel of fate. We became separated as I was sold to the house of Higurashi and learned the ways of a geisha. With each passing day my heart hurt more and I began to become an artist, of deceit. My geisha life had come and taken over, and my old life was no more. As I continued my soon to be emotional career all memory of Toshiro faded away slowly.
The morning of another day at the tea house and another client everything was normal. Nothing was wrong and I would have never believed that the glorious day would end up so dark. As my cart pulled up to the house a familiar face was waiting there for me. He was tall, skinny, and the man I had once fallen in love with. As this face turned toward me, his gorgeous blue eyes broke my heart free from the steel cage it had once been imprisoned in. I ran into his arms hoping he had remembered me. All of the wondrous memories returned as I felt his warm skin touch my face.
“Toshiro! How? Why?” My frail voice cried in the winter’s cold chill.
“I never wanted to leave you. With out you my life was incomplete. I have come back for your hand in marriage.’’
As soon as that sentence trailed out of his mouth, I froze. I knew it could never be. My destiny was set; nothing could change it, not even love. Tears ran
down my cheeks, exposing what I so desperately tried to hide. I backed away and just cried. He had meant the world to me and now we could never, ever be together. My heart had never set been set free until now, but my curse of love came back around and locked it back up. But instead it was murdered by the awful fate of my life.
Toshiro came down by my side, and attempted to comfort me. I pushed him away as my tongue danced behind my lips wanting to tell him the truth. But to afraid to see what he would say. So I ran to my room to never see him again.
I blinked and looked out the window to see that spot. The spot where he once stood; also the spot were his blood was spilled. Everyone walked on that spot like nothing ever happened. As if Toshiro was never was alive. Like I had never loved, this world was so cruel. Years had gone by since that one day but the thought still danced around in my mind.
So there I was, sitting there lost in the dark abyss of my mind. One hand with a paint brush and the other, covered by my silk kimono, held a knife ready to end it easy. A choose between what I had lived on as and what I thought was right. As the sharp knife gently grazed my skin, allowing a little blood to spill, I stopped. The knife fell out of my hands and my focus changed. I began to write with my paint brush.
My brush stopped as the final stroke was complete. I stood up and put the calligraphy up on the wall as a reminder. It read:
“We are all fireworks. We shine, climb, and always go our separate way and become further apart. But even then if that time comes, let’s not disappear like a firework, and continue to shine forever.’’