My Choice

You can’t bother me today. You can’t say anything; do anything that will change the way I feel today. I don’t care if you decide you never want to see me again, it doesn’t matter. Because I don’t need you anymore.

You saw me kissing him. You told me not to do that. You said you knew that I was only doing it to make you jealous, and it wasn’t working, because you didn’t care. What a joke. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t inquire about it. I told you that I really did love him, which is the truth, and that you needed to back off and mind your own business, also the truth. You even told him of your suspicions! Lucky for me, he didn’t believe your lies, and said the same thing I did, that you needed to back off.

You want to know what happened? Here’s what happened. We were walking together out of the school building. He slipped his fingers into mine, and I didn’t pull away, because I liked it. He kissed me, I wasn’t even expecting it, but I still liked it. In fact, I wanted it. I didn’t even know you were there, about to round the corner. How could I? I had many other things on my mind, like how the person I now loved was kissing me. But you will never know that feeling, so I don’t expect you to understand.

You have no right to tell me who I can and can’t date. We had dated once, but it is over now, and I am now free to live my life without you telling me what to do. You always had a problem with that, reprimanding me when I did nothing wrong, and hurting me. You say I am not good at hiding my feelings. If that is so, how do you not know how much you hurt me? Because I am not stupid. You are.

Now that I am with him, I don’t feel like I always have to be perfect. We thrive on the fact that we make errors. He can actually see through my humor, knowing when I am kidding, and actually laughing, something you never seemed to do. I laughed for you, why did you not do the same? He laughs at all my jokes, and injects his own just as fast, and at just the perfect times.

You are very different from one another. I can’t explain it. When I talk to him, I feel like I am at ease, while when I am with you, I am always watching what I say. You and I are different from me and him. We talk about anything and everything, while you always focus on me. I can’t keep doing that. You can’t know everything about me without me knowing the same about you. He tells me his secrets, trusting me with them. You claim I don’t trust you. Try trusting me for once, will you? Too bad it is too late.

With him, I forget about you. That hasn’t been so easy. I love the feeling he gives me, the feeling of openness. I want to be able to have that freedom that I have with him, which in turn leaves me with only one choice. I choose him.





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zero1 said...
May 27, 2011 at 9:30 pm

i just loved it amazing writing very powerful

 

 
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