& I'll Just Stand and Stare

April 16, 2011
By , Lancaster, PA
He watched from far away; he watched her sitting on the dock, like he always had before. He could never touch her-no- he never would. But it couldn’t hurt to admire her from afar. She would never be his anyways; so it wouldn’t hurt to imagine. This was his mantra, his only chant that would get him through this.
The sun was still young, up in the sky. The morning light reflected off her dewy skin; giving her an ethereal glow. Her face was tipped back, eyes closed, long dark purple lashes touching her freckled cheeks. Her lids were shields, sheltering her viridian orbs from the world. Her hair fell away behind her, smooth violet locks dancing in the breeze. Her slim legs disappeared into the lake, cutting off his appreciation of her. He swept his gaze out towards the scene in front of him to the sky and lake. The sky was light, colors only just seeping in, staining the blank canvas before it. And the lake; it was a deep crystal blue, cool and fresh, almost the color of his family crest. It was a distinct contrast from her pale ivory legs. It was strangely, as he found it to his chagrin, that the sight was an odd comfort to him.
And he had always known her; he had been with her since the beginning. He was meant to watch her, protect her, care for her, and guard her- that was what he was told to do. So that he did. In his heart, he knew he was meant to love her, but he had to put his family over his heart. Duty over his heart was what he was told. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a breath, reminding himself who he was and who she was. They will not be together. Ever.
But he still loved her yes, loved her so deep that he would do it all for her. That meant that it would be foolish to take her away from the person she was meant for, destined for. His love was complicated and difficult, but real. He loved her for everything she was, everything. And for that, he swore to protect her always, and never let her hurt. It would not matter that they would never be together. Love is selfless after all. The worse part of it was that she was meant for him. His brother. His little brother.
Glancing back up, he watched his brother stride towards her, meeting her at the dock. She turned, her face breaking into a brilliant loving smile. It was her most beautiful smile, her best. It broke his heart knowing it was only meant for one person. His brother. & that she would never smile that smile for him. . .





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