Was there anything that could've been said or done.

March 30, 2011
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I don't know how or why i am, but I'm still in love with you. After all you've done to me i would still go back to you in a heartbeat, and what kills me even more is that you wouldn't take me back. you've hurt me worse then i could ever hurt you and worse then anyone ever has hurt me. i cant believe everything's that's happened between us but what still stuns me is how fast you moved on. how quickly you found another girl. how it seems that i could've have been replaced at any second of our relationship. if what we had even was a relationship. I'm not sure if you were in it 100 percent like i was or if you ever really meant anything that you said. i know that i did though, everything that was said came from my heart. I'm not saying i would ever take anything back.. but i know that if i got the chance i would do alot differently. i always think what things would be like if on the day we met i went somewhere different, or didn't talk to you, or walked away. i think that everything would be so much easier for me now and i wouldn't have experienced the way i feel right now. obviously its late at night right now and I'm sitting in my bed thinking about you, like i do every other night. and when I'm not doing this I'm out getting drunk trying not to think about you but somehow i always end up back here. i always end up fighting the urge to text you or call you. i have my good days and my bad.. but there generally always bad. and when something goes wrong i don't want to text my friends or talk to anyone i just want to call you and cry to you and tell you what happened and hope that you can still make me feel better like you always did. sometI'mes i look back and think about all the bad things and it makes me think i should hate you, and i should. but its too hard because i do love you i just don't love all the things you've done to me. and i don't even know why i think things like this but something always tells me it ll work out and that if i wait a couple weeks or months or even longer that some way were going to find each other again and make everything work out. sometI'mes i wish you could just see me because i feel like you'll remember. you'll remember that i really did make you happy, i made you smile when you were frustrated and i treated you how no girl ever will. I'm not saying your not going to find someone else or nobody will ever love you because i know how easy it is to fall in love with you. but i will guarantee that no matter how much somebody loves you nobody will ever love you as much as i do.





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