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Yeah, you. The one reading this. Duh.
I love you.
Really, I do. Don't laugh, please. You probably don't even remember my name. But I'll try to remind you. Why?
Because I want you to remember me. Just like I'll always remember your smile.
I'm the quiet one who sits next to you in history class. Remember when you smiled at me when I sat down? I smiled back. I'm jealous of your smile. I wish mine was half as beautiful.
Remember when your pencil ran out of lead? You asked me if I had any. I wanted so, so badly to please you. I would have given a hundred dollars for a piece of lead, just so I could give it to you. Just so I could see your face light up as you told me, "Thank you." Just so i could see you smile.
But even if I had a million dollars, I didn't have any lead. So I said, "No, I don't have any. Sorry." And I really, really meant it. But I saw your face fall. And it was the most depressing thing I've ever witnessed. So I said, "Oh, you can use my pencil. I have another one." And when you took my pencil, your face lit up and you smiled and said, "Thank you," and it was so beautiful and perfect and fulfilling that I didn't mind that I didn't really have another pencil.
Did you know I gave you my only pencil? I had to use my pen, because I didn't really have another pencil.
But it's totally fine. I'm willing to do that, because your smile fills me with so much joy, I smile.
You make me laugh. All the time. Because no matter how lame your jokes are, I like the way your face lights up when I "get" your joke. The teacher asks us to memorize the preamble. Simple, right?
You forgot. You hardly ever do your homework, because you have more important things to do with your life. But you ambled up to the front and threw together the randomest piece of jumbled up words I've ever heard called the "Preamble to the United States Constitution." But no one cares, because everyone loves you. We all laugh with you as you stumble your way through the speech, ending it with a bow.
You're such a ham. But I don't mind, because it makes up for my shyness. We balance eachother out. We fit together like puzzle pieces.
Do you remember when we used to chat on the internet? I was always too shy to ask for your number, but you gave it to me. So we started texting. We texted a lot. And I made you laugh and you made me laugh and it was so perfect, so right, I dreaded when one of us had to say "gtg--c u l8r." But it wouldn't always be so bad, because you would always text me the next day at the crack of dawn and say, "Hey."
Remember my bright orange journal? You noticed it when no one else did. You leaned toward me in the middle of class and asked, "Why do you always carry that thing around?" I said, "It has a bunch of random stories I wrote in it." "Can I see it?" you asked. And if you were anybody else in the whole entire world, I would have said, "No way!" But you are... you. And I can't refuse you. So I gave you my journal impasssively and you read it for about an eternity and then looked up at me and said, "You're a good writer." Then you gave it back to me.
Do you know how that made me feel? I wanted to... kiss you. I was tired of your smiles. I was tired of watching you. I wanted you to be mine.
But you're out of my league. Way out of my league. Way way out of my league. It almost makes my heart ache when i think about it.
Almost. But it doesn't.
Because I know, one day, that we might actually have a chance. I'm crazy. I believe in fate.
I'm the quiet, generous, shy, texting, writing, unpopular, crazy girl who would give anything to see you smile. To kiss you. The one who loves you.
Remember me now?