Tutored to be Loved Chapter 9: The News

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“Have you been sexually active lately, Miss Robins?” Dr. Andrews asked me when my mother was exited out of the room.

“Yes, I have.” I felt embarrassed. I stared at the ground. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about this.

“Well, you have a high chance of any STD or pregnancy, ma’am.”

My eyes stared at the ground, still. My voice came thin and into a hush-tone. “Yes, I know.”

“Let’s take a few tests, okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

***

“Well Miss Robins, it seems to be that the pregnancy test turned out positive.” My stomach dropped. I couldn’t believe he just said that. My mom looked at me, surprised. I felt as though some softball threw at me. My life is ruined. This cannot be happening. My head started to spin, and I just didn’t feel right. I got up from the chair and ran out of the office. I ran out of the building. Tears kept streaming down as guilt kept building upon me. Is this really my life? I thought to myself. I kept running and running on the busy street while trying to escape everything. Once I had no breath, I stopped to catch it.

“Lily! Lily! Get the h*ll over here!” My mom screamed as she pulled her van to the side of the road. What am I going to do? I had such a sulking feeling inside me. I was in no mood to talk to anyone. I just wanted to cry and snuggle in my bed. I stopped. I had to.

“What?” I snapped. I couldn’t take her anymore.

“Why did you? Why did you let me- our family down?” Her voice was sharp and it kept cracking. “I thought you were our perfect daughter. Then you had to hang around that idiot-

-His name is Sean.” I clarified.

“When Sean came around, you seemed happy. But I didn’t know that you had to have sex to be happy with him.” My mom’s face was still and her bags under her eyes clearly showed. My body felt tense- and I had no time to just be calm with her.

“I am happy. I was happy around him. I love him, mom!” I didn’t notice that my voice was shouting into a loud volume- and I forgot we were in the middle of a busy street. I didn’t care. “Aren’t you supposed to take chances and do anything for who you love? You just don’t understand to be young!” The last sentence echoed. I walked away from her and called Sarah. I just needed someone. I prayed that she’d be there for me.

“Hello?” Sarah answered.

“Sarah? It’s me, Lily.”

“Oh.” There was a pause. There was so much to say to her.

“Can you meet me at the park in an hour?” I asked. I had to walk from this busy street to the park.

“Will Sean be there?” She snapped. My stomach churned.

“No. I promise.” Sarah agreed to meet me at the park. After what the walk seemed like an eternity, I arrived and saw her. I gave her a slight smile.

“What do you what?” She asked sarcastically. Sarah then put a cigarette in her mouth. After I watched for a minute, she gave me the nastiest look and rolled her eyes. “Did you hear me, idiot? What do you want?”

I stood there in shock. She just called me an idiot. How dare her! “I-I just want to be friends again.”

“Oh. That sucks.” Her voice became more monotone-like.

“Excuse me?”

“That sucks, sl*t.”

“B****.” I muttered. Sarah then threw her cigarette to the ground and used her left foot to destroy it.

“What did you just say to me?” She became closer to me. I froze. I didn’t know what to do. Run or fight back? I started to run. “Where the h*ll are you going?” She shouted. This girl I didn’t even know anymore started catching up to me, and as she did, she grabbed my wrist.

“Don’t run away from me ever again! How childish of you to run away and go have sex with some other guys. You can’t run away from everything that’s coming at you!” Her face was still and tense. Her hand squeezed my wrist, and I tried to let go- but I couldn’t.

“Do you want to know why I want to run away from my life right now?” I shouted with such agony.

“I bet it’s nothing. Your life is perfect. You have a boyfriend for God’s sake and lost your virginity!” She started to back up.

“You really think that life is perfect? Well it’s not! You get consequences when you get seduced by jerks who just want you for sex!”

Sarah sneered. “Like what? An STD?” My pain started to thicken in my body. I didn’t know what to say, something had to be said.

“No! I found out that I am pregnant! My whole life is ruined because of Sean! Now I have to be stuck as a mother and not as a pediatrician like I dreamed of. There. My life is SO perfect!” I walked away. Enough was said and I was tired of dealing with this drama. I was tired of dealing with life in general. I didn’t want to bring another life into this world. I just wanted my life to be successful.





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