My Obsession

March 23, 2011
By LovingMyth SILVER, Fort Mill, South Carolina
LovingMyth SILVER, Fort Mill, South Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Going to school was like being force-fed molasses; it made
me want to throw up, but I kept taking it 'for my own good.'
It was perhaps the most monotonus, boring waste of my time

It all started with a hate that quickly turned into obsession, and that obsessive hate soon became obsessive love. It was cruel, but love none the less. I’m not even sure when it happened but I suppose after a point hate, love, and obsession become so interchangeable that there's no reason even trying to differentiate between them.

From the moment he entered the kingdom, I knew he was trouble. After all he had been a survivor from the current war, the one between the realm of light and dark, and he had been not only a warrior of darkness, but the prince of darkness. While our two realms supposedly made peace I couldn’t help but feel suspicious. I could see that he still hated us; after all, we had been the ones to bring his home to ashes.

He had come to the palace not too long after the war had ended, requesting permission from my mother to live on our lands. She granted him this, although I begged for otherwise, I did so because in the split moment we had made eye contact I could see what his eyes held. While dark as coal, they burned with such intensity that the wrath within them nearly scorched me. Although, the smirk he threw at me left me frozen. It was at that moment when I chose to hate that man.

With his long ebony hair and equally dark eyes, he was simply an aura of all that was evil, at least in my eyes. Others saw nothing wrong with him, that he was simply looking to start anew; they were all naive to think so. For a while time passed regularly and I continued on as normal, just cringing whenever he was brought up. That was until I had to deal with the trouble of actually meeting him.

I remember how soundly I had been sleeping, kept shaded by the branches of my favorite willow. This spot had been a favorite of mine for many years, a quiet and secluded place, until an unwelcome pest decided to claim it. My eyes had been closed, head tilted up towards the sun in order to catch the heat upon my face. I was quite pleased until the heat left. My assumption that it was just a cloud was quickly disproven as the blocker of the sun coughed.

I opened my eyes to see the prince of darkness, much too close for comfort. “What do you want?” I had nearly growled, upset by his presence.

I watched him as he smirked, the cocky expression just gnawing at me. “Sorry princess. I’ll leave.” His tone had been sarcastic but I didn’t really care as I saw him turn to leave.

I settled back, about to close my eyes when he swung back around before calling out. “Heads up!”

A small breeze mussed my hair and I looked up to see that a sharp dagger was now stuck deeply into the tree. Rage overtook me.

“You imbecile!” I began to shout, standing up to glare at him better. “Exactly what do you think you’re doing? I could have you beheaded for that!” He took no notice to my words and instead he leaned forward before taking out a smaller knife.

In a flash I felt the tip of a blade pressed against my cheek, dark blood slowly dripping from the puncture. “If you’re going to do that I might as well kill you now.” He whispered to me. The voice he used made me shiver in terror. While my threats were more for show, I could tell his were real.

I reached back for the dagger that was still wedged into the tree before pulling it out and pressing it against his abdomen. “You’re call.”

He put his hands up in mock surrender before stepping away. “Alright you got me.” He chuckled grimly. “But one thing princess, I answer to no one, not you or your mother. So have fun trying to keep me down, I know bringing you to ashes will be fun for me.”

“You Demon!” I screamed before throwing the dagger at his head, but he had somehow managed to catch it swiftly between his fingers.

“Thanks.” He laughed, raising the weapon.

I spat curses at him as he left the forest. No matter what- I swore to myself – I will make sure I kill him.

My friends sighed in annoyance at my current rant. I had thought of another way to rid myself of the demon boy, whose name I eventually learned was Zaxen, not that his name even mattered to me.

“Alright ladies, you two know how he and I are always fighting?” They nodded and I smiled.

“Alright, and you know how he always manages to injure me?” I looked at them again before one shrugged.

“I guess.” She answered he voice doubtful and helpless.
I laughed bitterly at her. “What do you mean you guess? You’ve seen the cuts and bruises he’s given me. You have!”
She nodded again before speaking quietly. “But Timber, it’s just that, I’ve never actually seen him lay a finger on you.”
I scoffed. “Of course you haven’t, which brings me to my new plan. I will lure him somewhere and we will obviously end up fighting, when he injures me there will be someone there to witness it!” I was quite proud of this plan; my last few hadn’t gone too well, and by the sixth month I was just about to lose it.
I looked over to notice my friend shifting with discomfort. “What?” I asked confused.
“Well, the thing is Timber; don’t you think you’re kind of obsessed with him?”
I nearly sputtered at such preposterous words. “Are you joking?” I asked shocked. “I hate him.
She stood before walking out the door. “Love him, hate him. It’s still an obsession.”
I scoffed at her strange idea. I wanted him dead. While I did hate him to a serious point, I was not obsessed. I felt the need to prove it by going off to find Zaxen. He was sitting underneath my willow. He’d been coming here ever since our first spat six month ago.
“Zaxen.” I sneered approaching him.
He looked up and glared at me. “So what does the barbaric little princess want today?”
“Nothing you swine.” He stood up in order to glare down at me.
“Then go away.”
I stepped closer to him before I answered with a firm no, and with that our verbal quarrel turned physical. My fists connected with his face as he swung me off of him, tackling me and pulling out the dagger that he always carried.
Our fight lasted well after the sun had set and by the time I returned home, my servants were sighing. “What were you doing?” The eldest of them asked.
I fought back a twisted smile as I recalled our fight. “I was just fighting with Zaxen, the usual.”
A chorus of groans erupted from every servant within earshot. I looked towards the eldest one again, confusion evident on my beat up face.
“You two have been at this for about half a year, what would you do without that boy?” She asked me.
“I’d be happy.” I smiled at that and before dismissing them. Although I’m still confused how that simple thought could have been so wrong.
A year had passed since the day I met Zaxen and each day I had spent fighting him. Whether verbal or physical, some form of us always ended up hurt. In the time I’ve known him I’ve been left by my previously thought friends and even some of my servants had abandoned me. I was quite shocked to find that I didn’t care.
I was walking through the corridors of the palace before going off to fight Zaxen when I heard my mother speaking. “Yes, it has been awhile since this has happened.”
My ears perked and my curiousness got the better of me. “Mother.” I called out to her. “What is happening?”
She looked at me with joyous eyes. “Oh Timber, it’s wonderful. You’ve been arranged to be married to the prince of the sky realm.”
I stood, completely oblivious to what she was currently talking about. “Wait.” I paused, wondering if they may all be a cruel joke. “I’m getting married?”
My mother nodded and I gasped.
“But, I don’t want to, I won’t.” I didn’t know why but the thought of getting married made me feel almost guilty.
My mother’s face lost the smile that it held and it hardened drastically. “You will.”
“No I won’t!” I screamed at her before running off. At this moment I needed to blow off steam.
Running from the palace grounds, I ran until I neared my secret spot, desperately looking for Zaxen, but he was not found.
“No!” I screamed, hitting the willow, causing it to shake in fear. I bit back a yelp as blood began to stream from my now deeply bruised hand.
“So princess,” I heard a voice whisper from behind me. “Why so angry?”
I whirled around to face Zaxen and was surprised by how close we currently were. I was staring straight into the black eyes, cursing as my heart skipped a beat.
I pushed him away roughly, laughing harshly. “Haven’t you heard? I’m getting married soon.”
I watched him as the smirk fell off his lips in order to be replaced by a scowl; his eyes igniting.
“What do you mean,” He spoke through clenched teeth. “That you’re getting married?”
I swallowed away the lump growing in my throat. “E-exactly as I say. I’m getting married.”
He glared hard at me before steeping forward. “Well, you’re not allowed.”
I tilted my head. “And why is that?”
He smirked, the thing I’d come accustomed to seeing so often. He leaned in close to me until his lips were by ear, his black hair falling upon my shoulder. “Because,” he whispered. “You’re mine.”
I jumped back with widened eyes. “What are implying? I’m no ones!” I yelled at him.
His devious smirk only widened and then the breath was knocked out of me. I knew this situation well; I was pressed against a tree, the blade of his small knife once again puncturing my cheek. His eyes were bright with excitement, as they usually were when we were fighting.
“Princess, I’ve claimed you from the moment I gave you that scar on your cheek.” He slightly withdrew the knife from my face. “And since then, I’ve given you more. I’ve cut you enough that the marks they left will never disappear. Even if you wanted to forget me, you wouldn’t be able to, just like I could never forget you, because when you look at those scars you’ll remember how you got them. No matter how hard you try I’ll never just be a forgotten memory.” He took the knife and cut a long thin line into my shoulder, making me hiss at the pain. “You’re mine.”
He laughed a bit before backing away, leaving me frozen up against the tree. I was unsure of how to respond to this, whatever it was. Was it a confession, or maybe a death threat? I was still quiet unsure, and I mainly just concentrated on getting my heart to become calm.
It was beating so fast and I knew it was from the proximity. We have always gotten close, but in those moments we were fighting for our lives, so I was always more preoccupied. I returned home that night in utter confusion, still trying to calm my erratic heart.

A month had passed since that time in the forest, and it had also been a month since I had last seen Zaxen. I’d gone to the willow every day after that, but he was never there. I’d be waiting there by early dawn and wouldn’t leave long past the time that darkness had set in. It bothered me immensely, this being the longest time that I’ve gone without seeing him.
“It’s not fair.” I spoke to a servant of mine. “He can’t just say something like that then never show up again!” I hadn’t really told anyone of that day but as of now my mind was fraying.
“Who does he think he is exactly? Sure he was a prince, but his kingdom is in ruins now!”
The servant woman raised a finger, asking for permission to speak. I nodded at her, not really interested in what she was about to say.
“Well Timber, isn’t this the boy you used to hate?”
“I- I still hate him!” I shouted, twisting my fingers, trying to distract myself from my own burning face.
“Well, Miss Timber, I think that if anyone can talk about someone, good or bad, for over four hours straight, they must feel some love for them. Don’t you think?”
I stared at her for a moment before dismissing her, not in the mood the listen to her acclaimed logic. I then took to finding my mother.
Walking down the extravagant hallways, I eventually found her talking to the guards in the corridors close to the dungeon. Looking at her face I could tell something was wrong.
“Mother, what is it?” I asked.
“My dear, I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you.” She cried out, enveloping me in a hug.
I pushed her off me gently, looking at her teary face in confusion. “About what?”
“Oh! The prince of darkness! I just found out that he’s been harming you my dear! I should have listened when you told me not to allow him on our lands.
My eyes grew wide, shocked at what I was hearing. Zaxen’s been captured. The thought bit at me harshly, but I was unsure why. I had wanted this all along, had I not?
“There!” My mother called out. “There’s the scoundrel.”
I looked over to see Zaxen being dragged along by two guards. He waved slightly at me.
“Don’t worry dear; he is just about to be put to death.”
I gasped. “What?” I asked, watching the guards’ carry him pass me.
‘”To death, they’re taking him off to slit his throat my dear. That is the only punishment suitable for causing such harm to you.”
Halfway through the sentence was when I began running, screaming as I did. “No!” I shrieked, throwing myself at Zaxen’s feet. “Please don’t kill him! Don’t do it!”
They looked at me, dubiously. “But princess” they began before I cut them off.
“He had every reason to injure, I did do to him too, look!” I pulled up Zaxen’s shirt in order to reveal the many wounds I had placed on him. I smiled slightly, recalling what he had said to me about our scars. “I gave these all to him. So please don’t kill him.”
By now, the guards and my mother were looking at me, all wearing a shocked look upon their faces. “But princess,” One of the guards began to speak. “He turned himself in.” My eyes widened, filled with the confusion as I tried to think of why he would turn himself in.
I whipped my head around to look at Zaxen only to find him smirking. “I had to prove it to you somehow, like I said before princess, you’re mine. Now you know.”
His cockiness was obnoxious and anger swarmed me before I slapped him hard against the face. I looked down ah him to see his red cheek was still tilted up in a smile, and soon enough, I began to laugh. “I guess I am yours, but that makes you mine too, doesn’t it?”
He smiled and nodded. “I wouldn’t like it any other way princess.”
It all started with a hate that quickly turned into obsession, and that obsessive hate soon became obsessive love. It was cruel, but love none the less. I’m not even sure when it happened but I suppose after a point hate, love, and obsession become so interchangeable that there's no reason even trying to differentiate between them. Zaxen was my enemy, my lover, my obsession.

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