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A Vision

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The vivid colours once my imagination now took over my life. Haunting thoughts stained my mind like clots of blood. A vision. It felt like internal bleeding. It was harsh. There I lay, the car reversed back from my limp body. Voices filled the background; my sight beyond my control. His shadow still haunted me though, lingering. The whispers and shouts of the abstract image around me felt like a time- bomb ticking in my ears. The quieter the voices got, the louder the alarm went off. If only I could answer, say something. I couldn’t. My throat sucked back my words. Chocking me. I had no blood on me. I was okay, physically at least. My sight returning to me greeted me with his face. He was standing there, frozen in time. Frozen in thought. Bleeding, but no one tended to him. All eyes were on me. The taunting words resonating in my mind couldn’t express themselves. They just sank deeper, dragging my heart down with them.

I was in no control of what was once mine. He didn’t move. His eyes, black beads were glazed with ice; Crackling ice. Blots of blood on breaking ice; hauntingly beautiful. Just like what we had. My thoughts forming in the past tense sank my heart. It was now a heavy rock. Heavy with nostalgia. ‘Let me go’ it screamed. It seemed to struggle to voice it out. But I could hear it, only I could.

My eyes wavered around; people were now picking me up. I couldn’t feel their touch. It felt like I was floating, but where to? My eyes fought through the crowd to look at him once again. But he was gone. The statue of my dreams was now crushed rubble with blood stains. Why is it always too late? My breath hardly existed anymore. It was entwined with the frozen words inside me; Suffocating me. I gasped.

The black beads appeared again. They told the story of a broken man; they were a thing of beauty. Only I couldn’t find myself in them anymore, but I could find him. The black beads now reflected in the mirror are a composition of our unity; in me, yet his. His words, my words; one. Entwined artfully forming a cliché; love at first sight. My life, an extended metaphor in itself was now on the brink of a harsh climax.





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This article has 36 comments. Post your own now!

IzzyRahman said...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 3:33 pm
WOW! This is deep ..
 
shakespeare said...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 1:45 pm

amateur boo you will never get to my stage

again boooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

im serious :)

 
Rudolf Nureyev said...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 10:35 am
I thought it was great, i loved that you used the metaphor of blood, but i would have extended it throughout the rest of the piece. I still enjoyed your use of ice though because it gave the piece a chilling feel to it, and also the use of black and darkness, sorry to steal your own words, was "hauntingly beautiful"
 
Sumith Jay said...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 9:50 am
mindblowing ,"woow" effect on this article..love it do write more  nad i will love to read it :) 
 
Tariq said...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 1:45 am
This surpassed my expectations ;).
 
Khawar said...
Mar. 30, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Beautifully thought-out, and professionally put to paper!

Loved it!

 
Sumia said...
Mar. 30, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Thank you very much everybody. I do realise I have overlooked a typing mistake; 'choking'. I am sorry. x
 
Johnnyskillet said...
Mar. 30, 2011 at 1:36 pm

WOW!!! sumia im shocked and speechless

i adored that great work and keep it up ugh...i cant explain how much i loved it!!

 
Ana Rita said...
Mar. 30, 2011 at 1:27 pm
I absolutely loved it. Well done. The only thing I'll say is to clean it up a little, just at the beginning, but either way it's brilliant. Very visual. Keep going :)
 
Alia said...
Mar. 30, 2011 at 4:50 am
Such a powerful piece of writing. Love it ! Can't wait to see more of this ! :D
 
Tahiya said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Best I've read yett :D Cant wait to read moree xx
 
Andy said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 5:41 pm
You have officially impressed me.
 
Reza said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 4:33 pm
It was great, especially by the situation that I have :)
 
Abdu said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Really Good peice of work. Very well Written!
 
Talal said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 2:40 pm
awesome writing and excellent use of metaphors.hope u get to be a writer soon :)
 
iuiu said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Best work so far!!....i am going to be the first to buy your book, but it's not going to happen if you don't sign me an autograph!!
 
Molham A.I.A said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 1:54 pm
well that was certainly something...you have a really great way of writing and using metaphors....I think thou id probably be able to give a much better thought on this if I could actually read a full length ed short story of yours...cause this one jus had me confused over what you were talking about....great writing however :D
 
Sousou d. said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 1:19 pm

i LOVED it !!! its amazing!!

keep up the good work ! ;)

Good luck!!!!

 
Amoon said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 1:04 pm
ally strong and beautiful words :)
 
soof said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:50 pm
it is sooooooooooooooooo amazin keep it up sumiiiii
 
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