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Somewhere Safe--Part 9/Epilogue
I touched the snow white limestone and brushed my hand over it, dusting off snow. The flowers in my hand were shaking so I set them down before I dropped them instead. It seemed like such a shame to buy beautiful yellow daisies that still had dew on their pedals only to lay them in the snow like a forgotten dream or love that you out grew . The stone read:
Devin Gordon Dickinson
September 13th 1978- December 19th 2011
Nothing was after that. What could I say? Gavin slipped his arm around my waist and I put my head on his chest; a new habit that I adopted lately. That and the new house on the other side of town in the middle of a forest where the deer surprise us every morning as we’re out for a walk, sleeping in the same bed as him, and the wedding band on my finger. Gavin and I had gotten married on New Year’s Eve, a small wedding with no honeymoon ditto the reception but it was perfect. Gavin carried me into our "new" house-a cliché but still exciting- and popped open a bottle of champagne and sat in the living room with our feet plopped on the old sofa that the salesman had said was from the 1930's; a classic. We both new this wasn't the case ,that this was just another couch that would fall apart sooner or later. But just like the story of us, we saved it and gave it a home like someone would do with a puppy and Gavin thinks it's the best couch he's ever owned. I couldn't have agreed more.
" He loved you."
I looked up, startled at what he said. He was faced away from me and wouldn't meet my eye.
" He loved you in his own sick way."
I nodded, knowing that it was true.
"Why did you love him after all he did to you?"
" I loved him for who he was when I married him. He was charming, funny, handsome and the perfect gentlemen. Any girl would fall for him; and I" my shoulders shrugged."was no exception."
I paused and watched Gavin nod slowly in agreement. I needed him to glance at me, to let me know that I was still strong. Then," Gavin." my voice wavered." Look at me."
He didn't turn toward me and I was afraid that he was angry or lost or even just scared. Slowly he met my eyes and I saw that he was afraid.
" I love you, Gavin. Yes I wish that Devin wouldn't have died but I thank god it wasn't you."
A tear slipped from his eye, unveiling his weakness: Love.
" Ah, Kathrin." he sighed." Thank you for saving me."
He kissed my forehead then laced his fingers through my own.
"You ready?" he questioned.
I nodded watching as the gravestone in front of me blurred to a gray figure in the mist in a veil
I took Gavin's hand and let him led me to the car and found myself thinking about what Gavin had said; thank you for saving me. I suddenly knew what it meant. Love can mean many things. Happiness, hurt, hate, affection, safe, and even saving. Gavin had saved me from hurt and tears and I had saved him in a way that only love can save people. We saved each other and formed a safe haven. A somewhere safe where love creeps up behind you when you least expect it. Like it did with me.
Gavin stopped suddenly in his tracks and I looked up startled. He just smiled and squeezed my hand and assuring my optimism everything was going to be okay. Assuring me that he was my somewhere safe.