When people ask me what I like to write about, I simply say, “my life.” There is nothing like it. It is always changing, going in a million difference directions. And when I’m lost, well that’s when I turn to him. You can’t help who you fall in love with. It just happens. I mean, it just happened. Andrew is the greatest boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. He respects my boundaries, he knows my past. He knows me. I should be completely head over heels in love with him, because he deserves it. But I’m not. I guess I’m just hoping if I stay with him long enough, eventually all the memories will fade. I am in love with a boy named Alex. He lives half-way around the world and I only get to see him once a year. Every summer, I go to the amazing city of Auckland, New Zealand, and stay with my cousin for about two weeks. I spend as much time with Alex as possible. We still talk once in a while through e-mail, but it gets more and more painful every day. That’s why I have to stop. Alex used to say he loved me every time we talked. But now he never says it anymore. Of course I can’t help it. He knows I love him and all he can say is “I know.” Something has changed in his heart and I have no idea what it is. And so, this is why I have to let him go. Three years I’ve been holding on, and I don’t really feel that it’s worth it anymore. Andrew is more of my type anyways. You know what they say, the course of true love never did run smooth.
In My Life
March 17, 2011