Remember when you were five and your first crush was on that cute boy who babysat you when your parents went out to see a movie. Of course, that boy was on his phone the whole time texting his girlfriend about how bored out of his mind he was, but to you, he was perfect. He’d make you laugh and make you blush, a phenomenon you would grow up to never fully understand, but at the end of the day, he was just there for the twenty dollar bill. The next morning, when you would wake up to your loving parents, the boy would be gone and you would forget all about him. Then when you turned ten, you had your first long lasting crush on the boy next door. He was a little older and had dirty blond hair. He came over from time to time to borrow an egg or two. Every time he would flash a sparkling smile your way and wink. You were in love. One day, you’d see him on his front porch kissing some strange girl who was so much older and prettier than you. Then, you spent the whole day incredibly sad and shrugging off your family’s inquiries and concern. Then when you turned fifteen, it was the boy in your math class. He was really gorgeous, smart and popular. You were convinced he was the one for you and no one else could ever compare to him. And every day you tried so hard to get his attention, but he never seemed to notice you. Then, one day, during your daily "Facebook" check, you would come to find that his relationship status had been changed from “single” to “in a relationship.” You would then spend the next few weeks incredibly sad and taking your anger out on your family who accepted willingly to be your punching bag. Next was when you turned twenty years old and it was your high school sweetheart. You shared everything, and were as close as two people could be. Your parents were polite but they knew you were going too fast. And just when you thought you had love all figured out, the boy who stole your heart, crushed it into pieces. Then you spent the next months in your parents’ arm asking yourself were you had gone wrong. And so forth you lived, until one day you realized that love, which you were desperately trying to find, was with you the whole time. When the babysitter was gone, it was your parents who took care of you. When the boy next door was out kissing some other girl, it was your parents who worried about you. When the boy in math class changed his relationship status despite your feelings for him, it was your parents that let you take your anger out on them. Finally, when your high school sweetheart crushed your heart to a million pieces, it was your parents’ quiet voices, that never once said: “I told you so,” that comforted you. You had never once stopped to think that maybe the answer to the question you were looking so hard to find, was right in front of you. Love was, all along, the people who were there for you through thick and thin. It was the people who saw you during your worst days and who would still think: “you may be a pain in the butt, but I still love you!” They say that everything in life is relevant, well if it’s true, then everything in love is irreverent. Because at the end of the day, whether you want to kiss or kill the person beside you, the point is you’re beside them. It doesn’t matter how much they exasperate or infuriate you, you still choose to be beside one another despite all the other places you could be. And so maybe real love is not that big of a mystery after all, then again what would I know about it?
the Love of Love
March 6, 2011