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I thought life was supposed to be fun. I mean I thought I would just fall into place like every other piece. And why not I was born in the same world as everyone else, I’m the same species. Yet I don’t feel like I belong here. Maybe I'm just one of those defective being that no matter what anyone does it’s pointless.
It was hot. I personally hate the summer but since everyone was so down about it I had the job to boost their spirits. not really but someone had to, their depression as we rode the bus only seemed to increase the heat I was already feeling and that was too much as it was. I stared out the window Marci fast asleep beside me. I silently hoped she’d wake up and distract my thoughts. The thoughts I had about how boring this world was and how I wish it would change. at the same I wish she and the rest of the bus would stay asleep forever that why I’d be free of the chains that held me back. The forest like scenery began to let up and in the distance I saw I large building finally we’re here.
“Marci, Marci! We’re here!”
It was summer our school unlike most went on summer trips only a select few were allowed and only if they signed up before hand. It was offered to seniors only and we were all excited that the trip was being held at a very nice hotel in a beautiful valley. It reminded me of a place were fairies would nestle, but I didn’t really believe in those things. To be honest I hadn’t believed in childish hopes in a long time. “Wow it really is nice” Marci said skeptically. She had predetermined that the school would be cheap and that we’d have wasted our money and yet she was proven wrong. The exterior was nowhere near cheap; it was clean stylish and well polished. We walked in; the place was wonderful as or even more than the outside. Jake and mathias jumped for joy. I was hypnotized by the ceiling angels, demons, gods all sorts of myths splayed. They reminded me of the changing and unchanging way fate was. I wondered what my myth would be like, would I find a happily ever after or would I be cursed like the god Loki.
No I’m already cursed
Cursed with sameness.
“Man, this place rocks what do you think Kim?” I turned to the mathias from my daze.
“Yeah it’s awesome” I smiled brightly. The bedrooms were large two people rooms and I was lucky to group with Marci. When we had settled down she had ran over to call Jake and Mathias to talk about what to do tomorrow. I daydreamed a new scenario for me maybe the building would blow, the hotel would get hijacked and everyone would die except people with extremely good luck and the odds that i would be in that group always landed 100%
“geezzz! Kim you’re so out of it, you must be happy that colleges are begging for you.” Marci moaned sarcastically
I hated her sometimes. Truth was I had struggled super hard to get into the two colleges that had accepted me and they weren’t even my top and now I had to worry about the finance. She was just mad that no colleges had accepted her.
“No I’m sorry but look at that outdoor river” They all came by the window looking out and seeing the big river.
“woooow!!” Jake yelled “let’s go tomorrow”
Everyone agreed everyone was happy.
we spent the next day in the river. It was clean and natural so no one could complain about filth. The currents were weak so floating was a possibility that i personally took. as the river got deeper i dived in swimming in between the opposing currents. Swimming in between fantasy and hope, dreams and reality.
The floor got hard.
I was able to breathe.
I wasn’t in water. In fact I wasn’t even on the bank of the river. I was on the pavement of a loud city. It was night the sky was dark except for the city lights. People passed by hurriedly like New Yorkers trying to get on the subway. And there I sat clueless. I stood it was humid. I looked to see that I wasn’t even in my bathing suit I was instead in a cream colored dress fit for a princess. I looked around none of it was familiar. Voices, strange music blaring that i didn’t even try to understand bombarded me trying to knock me off the thread of sanity i had left. how did I get here? Where was I?
“Yeah yeah I know”
The voice was a light tenor he was approaching with another man at hand. Usually I would decipher problems on my own but this time I didn’t even know where to begin. His voice unlike the muttering around me was clear and I knew I had to ask him. And in an uncharacteristic manner I jumped him uncaring of the consequences.
“Excuse but can you tell me where i am?”
His eyes were dark blue and his hair a wavy black. He was beyond handsome he was celestial in looks. I wanted to run from such a beauty but my courage and fear kept me planted.
He looked shocked, would he leave me? I didn’t have a plan B so whatever happened happened.
“You in souyoki”
The name was clearly Japanese i knew since i enjoyed the language. But why? how?
“Wait where is that?”
His friend looked at him as if trying to relay a secret message but I could tell he thought I was crazy.
“No I meant what country?”
“Yeah St. Marlou’s”
I looked down, there was no place like that in my memory. What would i do?
“A map.... A MAP!!! DO YOU HAVE ONE?”
I reached on him desperate and confused. His eyes slowly went from fearful to understanding and he took my hand gentle in his and smiled.
“Yeah I’ll get you one”
The stores looked the same as the ones in the city but at the same time everything was completely unfamiliar
The map was pangea. Complete pangea i shook this was unreal let’s pretend this was real that meant somewhere somehow I had truly slipped through time and space and defied reality.
“Are you okay?”
His eyes were soft with concern
“Yeah” I smiled “I...I...” what was I? Where was I? Tears began to form rebellious of my own will
He patted me gentle on the head “you’re just a little lost aren’t you?”
“Yeah” I smiled “oh!” I straightened “my name is Kim”
He smiled it was warm. “My name’s Yukio”
I laughed and slowly my vision began to fill with water. And I couldn’t breathe again. Yukio looked frantic as I felt myself disappear.
Marci’s voice was loud as I jumped from the water. We were still hanging in the river relaxing, nothing had changed.
“Man, that was the longest dead man’s float I’ve ever seen” Jake laughed
I stood there in the water contemplating whether that had been real or if it really was a dream.
It was only later that evening when it was only me and her that I decided to tell her the events at the river. Of course she laughed and didn’t believe me but I didn’t care it was only when Yukio had taken my hand that moment that I knew where I belonged.
We still went to the river the next day regardless of my “temporary insanity” as Marci put it. I didn’t care whether they stopped me or not I was going to see him again; I had to.
The night was humid still I stood their confused. I had indeed wanted to see him but where would I start?
The voices resonated through my body shaking me down to my very nerve, and there he was racing toward me like I was the only one important.
They couldn’t find me. It had already been an hour and they planned to head back early today. Jack looked upstream in the shallower area knowing that I enjoyed pretty rocks and Mathias looked downstream knowing I enjoyed underwater swimming. When they finally did find me i was deathly pale and washed up on the bank like a rag doll. I was taken immediately to the hospital but there was nothing they could; I was in a coma. My mother was called and they slowly unraveled the horrid truth. I was withering away. Unless I woke up soon I would die.
The dinner was wonderful I hadn’t laughed like that in so long since..... Forever. We had separated from his friend at the end and slowly headed to his apartment. It was big most likely a suite and dark he didn’t bother turning on the light because further down there was a big window with moon light shining brightly through. a large king sized bed sat underneath with velvet sheets that took me into dreamland. I ran to the window afraid to touch it and yet excited at the same time; an enigma.
I looked up at him willing that he look at me, and he did. His dark blue looked back at mine with the same feeling and emotions as mine. I know he could have been fooling me, seeing I was young than him this could have all been a scam. But that was fine I was willing to risk it. He gentle brushed my cheek and kissed my forehead. Unchildish in fact it was sensual and slowly I felt more in heat and turned unusually aggressive taking the chance.
My eyes opened weakly to Marci screaming she was yelling about things she didn’t understand like the future i was about to have and the happy family that would miss me
“What?” she yelled
“Take me to the river”
There was a storm but nobody cared they were more worried about me and hoped that this would make me better
Don’t die don’t die
She kept yelling. I wanted to yell at her telling her all my fruitless effort, pointless determination, and horrid childhood. About the life that she had always said she wanted.
The river was flooded we held each other tightly.
The rapids took us away I swam strongly regaining my youth and reached for the bank. The others had found their own safe spots and like me collapsed heaving. I lay back in the mud.
So tired, I had done enough right?
Just soo tired.
The stormed raised a wave high no one could stop it and no one could run.
I guess I wasn’t extremely lucky after all.
Marci blamed herself god only knows why. And Mathias who had apparently always loved me fell into depression. Jake was fine he felt sad but he was always a strong person. I guess the only thing that p*ssed me off was that I hadn’t died cool. I mean what kind of hero dies from a broken neck.