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I Wasn't Dreaming
Was this really happening? Am I dreaming? Don’t wake me up if I am, I want to stay here in this dream. Can he feel my heart beating? I swear it’s going to jump out of my chest. Relax… this is supposed to be relaxing. He has his arms around me and he’s cradling me so sweet. Our fingers interlaced, yes, both our hands were clammy, but I didn’t mind. Could I just stay in this moment forever? What was he thinking about right now?
“Devin, do you think I’m pretty?” I asked as I tried to focus on the movie, which was impossible.
“Not one bit,” he said it like it was nothing.
Ouch. Dude, if you think that then get your hands off me. I looked as far away from him as I could.
He gently pulled my face towards
him, “No Lacy, I think you’re beautiful.”
A grin stretched across my face. “Thanks, Dev. Okay, do you think it’s weird that we aren’t dating but we always cuddle?”
“Yeah, I do.”
Mixed signals, much? Ugh. You’re the one telling me we’re just best friends.
“But actually, I am totally happy with you, and I wouldn’t waste a minute with you. I don’t want to miss a second with you.”
“Devin, did you think that we’d end up like this?”
“Yeah, totally.” He said it in a tone that he could see the future. He knew this would happen. Like it was a movie he had memorized.
I gave him a look trying to tell him that he wasn’t being funny. I wasn’t exactly fond of our situation.
“Lace, I totally didn’t see it coming. But I’m glad it did.”
“Okay. So would you ever kiss me?”
“Ha, ha, isn’t that crossing the line of ‘just friends’”
I rolled my eyes at him. Doesn’t our cuddling cross that line too? Or are we such great just friends that it’s totally normal for us to do that?
“I’d kiss you, okay. But let’s just see where it goes.”
The corners of my mouth turned upward into a small smile. “Okay, do you like me?”
“Yeah, you’re my best friend.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
He made a slightly disgusted look. “That way?! Uh we’re too close for that! No way.”
I rolled my eyes and muttered “you don’t make any sense whatsoever.” I turned on my side and continued to watch the movie. I let him keep his arms around me, I liked the way it felt. I didn’t want him to let me go. Despite what he said. We watched the rest of the movie in silence.
After the movie, he gave me a ride home. It was always like this. Same ride in the same car. Music on, tonight it was The Script. Always it was dark and rainy, a typical late winter night in Washington. I hated this drive though. It meant that our weekend together was over. Our cuddling was done with. Not until next weekend. But during the week at school, we would hide everything. It wouldn’t be mentioned, we wouldn’t let our touch linger too long, the most we would do is poke each other. The weekend was over. That’s why I hated this ride home.
He pulled into my driveway and got out of the car. Why did he do that? He never walked me up to the door. Just friends, remember? He
walked towards me and took my hand. He walked me to the door.
“Lacy, I do like you. A lot. In fact I like you enough to do this.” He lifted my chin towards him. His lips touched mine, we kissed, then pulled away.
“Thanks for clearing all of that up then.” I said to him, I didn’t really know what to say. “So what are we then?”
“I’d like you to be my girlfriend.”
“And I’d like you to be my boyfriend.”
“Then that’s what we are.” He said.
Once more my heart jumped out of my chest.
I opened the door, realizing that my weekend wasn’t over. Things would be different at school. People would be able to see what we really are. I wasn’t dreaming.