What is it?

February 6, 2011
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What is it about you that makes my worries melt away every time I see my phone flash excitedly with your name? That makes me bear the loneliness of being thousands of miles apart from you for months at a time, knowing I could never love anyone like I do you?

I'm not one for the fake love and future together, pretending I can see it happening, but now what I want most in this world is to be with you, forever, side by side, never to part. You make my heart sing and dance, whenever you tell me you love me. I lose a bit of my self-awareness when I see you. I don't care what I'm wearing, how I look, I know you see me for how I am. I can be comfortable in my own skin, I know you don't mind how much or little you see of me, that you always think I'm beautiful.

What is it about you take makes me lose track of time? How do you make it so that when I talk to you, the day goes by so fast, but when it comes to say good bye, the seconds drip by like centuries, tearing and prodding at my heart?

I hate saying goodbye, although I know it's only for awhile. Part of me knows that there's nothing wrong with it, that it's a break, but I could just look at you, listen to you move, just know you're there, on the other line for hours. Without you I feel lost. I fight tears forming in my eyes, knowing that I'll talk to you again, but there's always the scary little voice crying what if? What if?

What if this doesn't last? I know we're meant to be. What if you meet someone else? As long as you're happy. What if you get mad and stop talking to me? Well, I probably deserve it, as long as you're happy. What if something terrible happens? Live every moment as if it's you last... If something happened to you, I'd die, I swear...

What is it about you that sends my stomach into knots, twisting and turning so I laugh aloud? What is,it about the color of your lips, the curve of your smile entices me, that entices me, begging for a kiss?
I don't think you have any idea how amazingly handsome you are, although handsome might sounds bit old fashioned. Not just handsome, though, you're yummy, oh so yummy. I want to kiss you, long and slowly, maybe nibble your neck softly. Things through which I can express how much looking at you makes me think, "oh mama, he's one good looking fella, yum..." knowing you're so much more than good looking.

What is it about you that makes me love you like I do? That makes me see how flawlessly perfect you really are, even when no one else can?
Well, everything. You are perfect. And I love you.

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