Stupid Cupid

February 8, 2011
As a child we all planned out our wedding day and a wonderful fairy tale love. People think to be happy they have to find their true love; their soul mate. We all want to find that one person that we can express our secrets to. Everyone wants someone to come home to. Blah Blah Blah! I have heard it all before, in fact I create all of those fairy tale endings. Yes, my name is Cupid and if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t even be here right now! If i hadn’t struck your parents with love you would have never even existed! No need to thank me though, it’s my job!
Picking the perfect couple and giving them their “happy ever after” has been my job for billions of years. You could say I am a professional. I was always meant to be the matchmaker. I found joy in making others happy, but one valentine’s morning I didn’t get the same satisfaction that I usually do. I got tangled up in making sure everyone had a significant someone for Valentine’s Day that I forgot about myself. I lounged around all day in my heart shaped home watching sappy movies and eating pink strawberry ice cream. I went outside to fly around to get some fresh air and all I could smell was red roses and dark chocolates from the couples below me. I sensed the love I created all around the world, although I couldn’t feel any in my heart.
I decided it was time that the love master found his own partner. It couldn’t be that hard! I know exactly what women want: a sensitive man that cooks and surprises her with romantic flowers when she comes home. If anyone could find a girlfriend it would be me!
I invited my best friend, Robby, over. You probably know him better as the Easter Bunny. We conversed over coffee and carrots. I revealed my plan to him about finding my true love. Robby informed me that in today’s advanced world people find their true love over the internet or on game shows on television. I asked him which one I should do. He told me game shows would be more affective and fun. He didn’t seem too serious about the situation at hand but I went along with it anyways.
I signed up for the most popular dating show in the country: “Love Struck”. Two weeks later I eagerly jumped on a plane and headed toward Hollywood to find my true love!
I stepped off the plane to be greeted by the warm sun through my heart shaped sunglasses. I straightened my pink suit and headed on my way. All I could smell was the salty ocean as I make my way out of the airport. I get to my hotel as I see glamorous people all around me! I unpack my stuff and got dressed for the big night!
I arrived at the studio at five o’clock to be bombarded by paparazzi. The flashing lights blinded me as I tried to make my way to the doors. I finally get inside. The place was mad chaos. Cameras, lights, people running around and oh donuts. I did not know where else to go so I just made myself comfortable by the donut table.
“Who are you?” a young man asked.

“Well, I am Cupid. I am here for the dating show!” I replied then went back to my donut.

“No No No! Put that down and follow me!” he exclaimed.

I unwillingly put the donut back on the table and followed him into a dressing room. There sat a few people who told me to quickly sit down. I was drenched in makeup and powder. The small bit of manhood that I had was then lost. After about an hour we were finally ready. I stepped out of my dressing room to see the set, the live audience, and the cameras.

I was rushed to a chair shaped like a heart and adjacent to me was a huge pink curtain with three chairs. I was assuming those were for my candidates. A man came up to me and hooked my microphone up and then I sat down.

“Welcome to the show, im Bob and I am the host! Don’t be nervous just smile and be truthful. Our goal is to make the audience happy and to find you a lover.” A short middle aged man said enthusiastically.

“I can’t wait.” I replied.

All of the sudden the lights dimmed and a spotlight shined straight on me. Bob took a seat next to mine and we both got powered one last time. The cameras all got in place and a man counted down: “ready in three, two, one, and we’re live”.

At that moment the nerves rushed through my body. A catchy theme song began to play from the band on the side of the set. After the band finished Bob enthusiastically sprang out of his chair:

“Hello America!” he practically screamed. “Welcome to the country’s favorite dating show Love Shack.” The crowd applauded. “Our special guest today is the one, the only, Cupid!” I stood up smiled and waved. The crowd went up in a standing ovation. I blushed and quickly sat down. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

All of the sudden the spotlight moves to the pink curtain next to me and two shadows appear. These were the girls trying to win a date with me!

“Let’s introduce our stunning women!” exclaimed Bob. “Our first candidate is the beautiful Leah Michaels.”

She scurried out from behind the curtain. She seemed very shy. Leah was an average height with short brown hair. Her hobbies included reading, cooking, and long walks on the beach; like any other girl. She sat in the chair next to me and Bob interrogated both of us. It was probably the most awkward experience I have ever encountered. At the end of it she seemed nice, very quiet, but nice. After we conversed for a few minutes Bob interrupted and moved to commercial. The cameras were finally off. Leah took a deep breath and wiped her forehead.

“Hi, sorry I really have never done this and I am quite shy.” She franticly said while the makeup artist quickly touched up her face.

“Oh, it is quite alright. I am new to this whole dating thing too.” I said trying to comfort her.

The cameras were quickly put back in place as Bob galloped back to the set where he took his seat in the heart shaped chair next to mine. The lights dimmed again and the music played. “Welcome back everyone! We are trying to find Cupid, the match maker, his very own girl!” Bob said as he stood up. Pointing to the curtain he said “Now let’s introduce our next candidate, Brittany Flowers!”

Brittany came out from behind the curtain. She was short, with shoulder length blonde hair. She seemed like a natural in front of the camera. She smiled and waved at the audience and sat in the chair next to me. Again Bob interrogated us with a new set of questions. She answered them quickly with confidence. She jumped to every answer and I barely got a word in.

The show was over and the next night I would announce which girl I would like to go on a date with. I went to my hotel and washed the powder off my face. Then I laid in bed thinking about the show.

See both girls were totally different. Neither of them were my type I thought, but then I asked myself: What is my type? I decided that I didn’t have a type. How could I ever find a soul mate if I didn’t have a type! At this point I was panicking. I have to make a decision in front of millions of people tomorrow but I didn’t want to choose either of them. After hours of staring at the ceiling thinking of what kind of girl I would want I came to an interesting conclusion. I love seeing people fall in love. That is why I am Cupid. I mean the Easter Bunny doesn’t have a girlfriend and neither does the tooth fairy. And even if I was interested in one of these girls wouldn’t I have to stop being Cupid because I cannot fall in love with a mortal. How could I have missed that important detail! By the end of the night I knew exactly what I was going to say in front of the camera the next day.

Once I got to the studio the next afternoon I snagged a donut and then was rushed to get my face powdered. I went to sit down in the heart shaped chair as the director came up and asked if I made a decision. I told him I sure did. This time I wasn’t nervous at all. I was completely comfortable in front of the camera. The lights dimmed and a spotlight hit Bob.

“Welcome America!” He said. “Tonight is the big night where we will figure out who Cupid has chosen!” The crowd applauded. Leah and Brittany came walking out. They sat on either side of me and I knew it was time to make my decision.

I stood up at glanced at both of them. “I cannot love either one of these girls.” I said boldly. Out of the corner of my eye I was Bob’s jaw drop. “I love making other people fall in love. That is my true calling in life and if I fall in love with either of these girls I cannot continue doing that. I came here to find the fairy tale ending and to settle down but I realized that the life I am living right now is my fairy tale. All I ever wanted has been right in front of me I just never opened my eyes to see it!” I said.

I turned to the girls and thanked them for coming and I promised them that I would find them their own true love soon. I walked over and shook Bob’s hand and I made my way out the door. As I was walking toward the door I heard one person clapping in all the silence. One person in the audience appreciated what I had done. Everyone quickly joined in the applauding!

That is why I have grown so much to love what I do. I never take it for granite anymore. I have now been awarded the honor of being Cupid eternally. My days are spent floating around shooting people with my love arrows giving people their love. So do not rush to find your one true love, or rush to get into that fairy tale life. I promise you I will shoot you with a love arrow one day and you will be perfectly happy!

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kyliegirl123 said...
Feb. 11, 2011 at 10:53 am
this story is SO cute! i absolutely love it! whoever wrote this is adorable!!
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