I have these dreams. Some might say strange dreams. Many don’t understand but I do. I run through fields of sparkling green grass wearing a gorgeous purple dress, always the same one, and meet a boy. A boy I don’t know in reality. He seems perfect. His fair, blonde tendrils frame his light skin; his green eyes sparkle as I take a step closer. We never talk. All he ever does is wave; a passing wave others might not notice, disregard. But it catches my eye, his beautiful smile twinkling with pure joy. I want to take one small look at him, just to see his smile one more time, but he seems to be gone when I turn around. All I see are his footsteps in the sand under the grass. I don’t know him and maybe I never will. He isn’t real after all. But why do I always dream of him, a perfect boy I never met? Why do I wake up thinking and wondering who he is? Is he someone special? The curiosity burns inside me as I blunder through my day, from school to work and then back home to finish my homework. As I write the last few sentences of my English paper, I am already thinking about meeting this boy again. In my dreams, not in the real world. Yet it seems real, like he is really in my world every day, yet I can never match him up with any of my real friends. Is it Ethan, the cutie from my math class? I thought, but it didn’t match up. My dream boy has kinder eyes, a kinder smile, one Ethan never had. Maybe it is Luke, the gorgeous brunette I met over winter break? It can’t be him I decide; Luke is much more arrogant and aggressive than my mystery boy. He is moody and unkind, something my dream boy never will be. As I climb into bed, curl up under the warm covers, my mind floats away, far away. As I slowly step into the grassy field, my beautiful boy is there. He is holding roses and his green eyes are lighter and shinier than ever. He steps closer, even closer. I hold my breath as he brushes his cheek against mine. His hair smells of lavender and sweet flowers and his skin is warm and soft. He takes my hand and gently kisses it. My heart beat quickens as he let’s go and slowly hands me the rose he has held for this entire time. My eyes are smiling even though my head cannot believe this happiness. I don’t know him, and I might never know who he is. But at least my fantasy came true. As I begin to wake up and my dream fades away taking my mystery boy yet again, I try to find that perfect middle. The one that exists between dreams and reality. Is he real, someone I know? Or is he someone I am just going to meet, soon or later? I have these dreams. Strange dreams some might say. They don’t get them, but I do.
I have these dreams.
February 6, 2011