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I never thought that the one I fell for would be living in Montana. And I especially never thought that the one I fell for would be in the Air Force. I no longer knew what to do. All that I knew was that I never wanted the week to end.
Our friendship started off as nothing more than a simple “hello” followed by a brief conversation via Facebook. However, the more that we talked and the more that I go to know him, I could feel myself liking him more and more. We had both been so excited to actually meet each other when he came to visit his family in July. Every day we would bring it up, continuously mentioning that it would come before we knew it—and it did.
Hours after he was back home, he called and asked to see me. I was so happy that I was actually the first person besides his family that he wanted to see. We hung out all night, and it wasn't until after seeing the sun rise that we separated and went home... but we weren't apart for long. After getting in about six hours of sleep, I woke up to my phone going off and a text message saying “Good morning”. Not even an hour after that, he came to see me again. Over the last six days, we had spent every possible minute with each other. I never thought that it was possible to fall in love so fast, and yet, here there I was—completely and totally wrapped up in it. I just had no idea what to say to him, or even worse—what I would do in two days when he was gone and had no idea when he would be back. But every time that I looked into his eyes, I would forget the fact that our time together was limited.
“I know that this must seem foolish to you, but I can't help it. I don't want you to leave and I know that there's nothing either of us can do... I just—” it was so difficult to get out the words I wanted to say, “I'm in love with you, Clark.” I nearly choked on the words, but I knew I had to get them out, and maybe there was a part of him that felt the same. But as he sat there staring into my eyes, that hope seemed to quickly fade—or so I thought.
“Lucy... You know that I wish I could stay, too, but I have to go back. I wish that there was something, or some way to change it.” He paused and continued to look at me, as I waited and hoped he would say the one thing I wanted to hear. “You said that you love me.”
“Yeah... I did. But it's no big deal really, don't worry about it.” I tried to make it seem like it was nothing in order to trick him into forgetting I ever said anything, but mainly to make the pain of him not feeling that way ease up on my heart.
Smiling, he said, “'No big deal', huh? Well, I guess that it's nothing special if I said that I love you too.” I was so confused. I didn't know what to say because I wasn't sure if he actually said that, or if it was my mind playing tricks on me. “Now would always be a nice time to say something.”
“Do you mean it? Like, you actually said that you loved me, right?” I felt so ridiculous and foolish, but when he nodded his handsome head, I felt reassured and confident. “I was hoping so. So, now what? You leave in two days. Are we just supposed to act like this never happened?”
“I could never pretend this past week didn't exist. It was the best week of my life, to be honest. I really don't know what to do though... I have six years left. I'll be on one side of the country and you'll be on the other. I can't ask you to be with me like that.”
I somehow had hoped he would have this wonderful clever solution to the problem that faced us. “I can go to college in Montana. I'll go to college there, and that will at least be four years out of six! And then the other two, we can figure it out then. It would work and we could spend time together and it would work out—”
“I'm not letting you do that either. You're going to BU for school. You've always wanted to be there. Maybe at first you would be happy in Montana, but sooner or later you would resent me for forcing you to give up your dreams.” I just kept shaking my head and trying to speak to refuse his statement, but he never let me break in. “We can't, Luc. We both know that what I said is the truth. I love you, and if there was a way for me to be with you I would do it. But there's just not...”
We dropped the subject for the time being when the tears on my face became noticeable to him. We both didn't want to waste the day arguing and crying, but wanted to spend it like we would if time was on our side. Of all the possibilities and difficulties that could have stopped us from being together, the two largest stood in our way: Distance and time. I somehow believed that if our love was real and strong enough, that no matter the distance or how long we would be apart, we could find a way to be together in the end of it all.