Beautiful is...

February 2, 2011
By SandyC SILVER, Concord, Other
SandyC SILVER, Concord, Other
5 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the end it won't matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away"


I had been looking for a chance to test you for a while up until that day. Not a huge test. No. I simply wanted to know if you loved me, if you actually thought about me, if you cared. But, I didn’t want to come out and ask “Do you love me?”. That would’ve been cheesy. I didn’t know how or when, but I knew that I wanted to put your love to the test in a small way. Then, as we were walking to class one day, you said,
“You’re beautiful”
And finally, I knew how to test you. The test was simple, only four words.
“But, what is beautiful?”
At first, you looked confused, and I began to think that this was a bad idea. Maybe I should have just accepted the compliment. Maybe it was too early to test you. But then again, we had been dating for 6 months. Then, after what felt like hours of painstaking waiting, you answered my question with another question,
“What do you mean?”
Fair question, I guess I could have been clearer with that. So, I helped you out a little bit,
“Well, I’m just wondering, because, to be honest I have no idea what beautiful is anymore. Society’s definition of beautiful is changing constantly. First thin is beautiful, then curvy. People who wear baggy clothes were at a point “beautiful”. Then it changed to tight. Some people say that it is what’s inside that defines beauty, but others say that there is a physical component as well. Many say that nature is beautiful, but in that case, why do people undergo surgery, and cake on badly done make up, making themselves look very unnatural, in order to make themselves look beautiful? I just want to know what you think it is.”
With that, you started to stare at me. But, although your eyes were on me, I knew your mind was elsewhere. Perhaps you were formulating an answer? Finally, a huge grin spread across your tanned face, and your deep green eyes lit up. You looked like a little kid who had just figured out the answer to a pop quiz. In a way, I guess that’s what you were.
“Beautiful is the confidence that you always have
Beautiful is the determined look on your face when someone tells you that you can’t do something
Beautiful is the way you always know what people want to hear, and how you make their day by saying it,
Beautiful is the way that you seem to gain anyone’s trust,
Beautiful is the fact that you are one of the most gorgeous, talented people in the world, but you seem to think that everyone is more important than you,
Beautiful is the way my heart starts to race when I know that you are close to me,
Beautiful is you.”
Like I said, I was testing you, and with those three words, you passed.



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This article has 7 comments.


on Aug. 9 2011 at 2:59 pm
AmandaPanda123 SILVER, Brookville, Pennsylvania
9 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
Memories are forever.

I love how you structured this story. Instead of talking about two different people, you became one of them. I'm also glad that you kept it short and sweet. The way you wrote it makes me want to keep reading it because it's so good!

on May. 31 2011 at 1:19 am
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

This was amazing! I spotted no errors at all. I really loved that you kept it short. Like many others, I wish I knew a guy like that. Good job!!!

on May. 30 2011 at 7:41 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

That was a great story.  Sigh.  I wish all guys were like that.  Like GemValley250 said, that guy's a keeper!

GaelicC said...
on Feb. 19 2011 at 7:56 am
GaelicC, Longford, Other
0 articles 0 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
No -Rosa Parks

Aww this was a real heart warming story! That guy is a keeper, that's for sure!:)

Check out my work?:)


on Feb. 5 2011 at 11:53 am
Timekeeper DIAMOND, Cary, North Carolina
62 articles 0 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk'?, and I say 'No that's trendy'!"- Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day

Excellent, you really set up the reader to become a part of the story by only using "you" to describe the other character.

on Feb. 3 2011 at 9:44 pm
alex_gold SILVER, Southlake, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
'You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair - the sense that you can never completely put on the page what's in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed, ready to kick ass and take down names. You can come to it because you want a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly. Let me say it again: you must not come lightly to the blank page.'

Stephen King

Wow! I loved it! Short and sweet! It brought into prospective how stories can have a lot of detail, yet still be lacking. And also how stories can have little detail and yet be marvelous! You can guess which category your story falls under. :)

Annerdy BRONZE said...
on Feb. 3 2011 at 3:53 pm
Annerdy BRONZE, San Francisco, California
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Aww, that was really adorable. I wish all guys spoke that way to girls. (: The world would be a better place, huh? o: I really liked this. It was short and sweet. You didn't need to focus on surrounding details or setting or anything like that because it would've drawn attention away from the emotion in the story. The words were quite beautiful in the dialogue and I could definitely feel the narrator's anxiety. It was like a free verse poem within a story. :] It made my heart feel warm and tingly inside so mission accomplished. I also like how the three words that pleased her were "beautiful is you" rather than the common "I love you" that most people throw out effortlessly. Very good job! I rated 5 stars. Keep writing! :] 

 

If you have time, could you please check out any of my work? Thanks so much. (:





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