ALong came reality

January 26, 2011
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The light shining in from the window sprung on my face with a happy awakening, shouting out, good morning! I could feel the heat increasing on my cheeks and nose the more I lay there, procrastinating. Ugh, school. Last night had been the best night of my life…and now I had to wake up early to head to the bus. Weird how things can be so perfect and then there you are the next day; right back to where you started. Just thinking about last night gave my cheeks an excuse to flush a rosy red. Would he remember? Suddenly feeling embarrassed to even think of him, I jumped out of bed walking to my closet. Perhaps, it was a dream? I thought. Oh, but a dream wouldn’t be so amazing and real-like as that night had felt! Brett Phillipson’s lips leaning in towards mine with the cackling campfire on the beach in the nighttime air was, amazingly, real! Not everyday does one of the most popular guys in school come up to you at a random beach party and create small talk…let alone kissing! But just seeing the look on Sydney’s face had been the best. She’s Brett’s ex-girlfriend and my ex-friend from elementary. Everything changed between her and I, like she just abandoned me and now hangs with my other ex-friend, Natalie. But they made their decision, and unfortunately for Sydney, so had I.

I don’t tolerate friends who are there for the moment; I want friends who will stick by my side no matter what. Today, looking into my closet, I decided to wear my new lacey cream-colored top I had received for my birthday and my faded blue Lucky Jeans. I bent down to look into my full body length mirror and studied myself like a lioness studies her dinner. Twisting to the side a little, looking at my belly, made me a little self conscious of the mini bulge. I need to work out. This, my friends think is ridiculous of me to say because they think I am “so skinny” or because I seem to have “the perfect body”. And yes, I do have a nice proportioned body, but it just doesn’t meet my standards. There isn’t anything wrong with that. Adding a little mascara and some foundation, keeping it natural I said to myself, I grabbed my bag and left the room.

I reached for my jacket off of the hanger and slipped my boots on. I said my goodbyes to my father as I left the house, reaching closer and closer every step of the way to Brett again. He told me last night to meet him in the junior lot during lunch, by the willow trees. So I guess going to school today wouldn’t be a complete waste of my time. Thinking about it, I probably should work harder in school. Being a sophomore and playing it “low” isn’t necessarily the greatest choice. I’m lagging behind in Honors Science. This year hasn’t been the greatest but I’ll do better, especially after I see Brett. Maybe he could even tutor me? Hmm, possibilities!

BRRRR-INGGGG. I quickly scooped up my assignments and papers, not caring if they were getting crumpled up in my bag, and left my third period Health class. I sped walked passed everyone in the halls and turned left through the double doors heading to the lot. Calm your breathing! I scolded myself. I mean, I don’t want to be all out of breath and obvious when I see him. “Hey”. I spun around, having to look up to see his beautiful face. His eyes light blue, shimmering in the sun like waves from an ocean. And his short but flippy hair, blowing in the breeze. All of the butterflies in the pit of my stomach felt as if they were going to fly up and out of my mouth, but then disappeared in a split second. I could see in the distance that Sydney and Natalie were a ways behind Brett, their eyes searching me from top to bottom. “So…about last night,” Brett asked, almost seeming awkward to be the conversation starter. Go on, I thought, wanting to hear about how amazing he thought our kiss was too! And how he wanted more! “Well, I was thinking that maybe we should just forget about last night…I mean, what was I even thinking, you know? You’re like, one of Sydney’s best friends,” “Ex-friends, actually” I said without even thinking. “Ok, ex-friends, same difference. But what I’m saying is that I don’t think I could do that to her, or even you.” Instantly I could feel my face turning a vibrant red, my eyes beginning to water. “But…I thought,” The words not seeming to come out, I surrendered and felt no need to be there anymore. “Never mind, I have to go.” I sprinted the opposite direction not caring where I was going. Just keep going, I thought to myself. I could hear Brett shouting my name, “Erika! Come back!” But with no intension of turning around, I kept going, as if my life had been turned sideways and was never to return back. I realized everything I had hoped for had been all wrong. But I guess that’s when along came reality. Just sitting there, waiting, then slapping me straight in the face.

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