I love you

“Give me back my bubbles!” “Got to catch me first.” Memories at the playground of me and my best friend Josh. Those memories go through my head now. Now that he is dead.

Me and Josh have been friends since we were in diapers. We met in pre-school and instantly had a friendship. I have such great memories of him. His sweet face and gorgeous blue eyes. His scent was the best I have ever smelled. I know it sounds silly but its true. He had the sweetest personality, and a great outlook on life. Every time I needed him, he was right there with a shoulder to cry on. The first day I went to his house we played with his action figures. I called them dollies but to him they were definitely weren’t dolls. It was s fun to grow up with him. Our problems changed, our looks changed, and our feelings changed.


We had always been good friends. Always did stuff together. Played sports together, pulled pranks together. We promised to always be there for each other. Through the good and the bad. Once when we were thirteen we went into the woods and decided to light a piece of wood on fire, and accidentally caught the whole woods on fire. That one was a hard one to explain. But it was so funny.

But now we are sixteen. Josh and I always drive around. We are still as inseparable, as we were twelve years ago. Me and him have been in some relationships but never serious enough as love. I have always loved him. Just like a brother though. But recently my feelings for him have grown stronger. I have fell in love with him. I have been afraid to tell him cause I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But today I plan on telling him.


We are driving to a friends house for a party. It’s midnight on a Tuesday night, its snowing. We are driving quite slow, he is a careful driver. We were listening to music when I suddenly turn I turn the radio down. “Can I tell you something,” I ask simply. “Of course, anything,” Josh simply replies. I sat there for a moment, then took a deep breath. “I…”. Suddenly the car spins out of control and hits another car. I put my hand on my head, it’s dripping blood. I can hear it hitting my hand, then I watch it slowly run down my arm. Then I look over at Josh, I grab his wrist his pulse is extremely slow and faint. He has blood running down his head, his arm is out of place. It’s extremely hard to look at him, his sweet face now covered in blood. I never let go of his wrist. I kiss him gently on his cheek, his blood is on me. I could care less. Suddenly his pulse stops. He falls into my arms, he is dead.

Two days later I get out of the hospital with a broken rib and minor cuts and bruises. I go home and lay down in my bed and cry my heart out. I want him here holding me, telling me everything is okay. He is gone now, not coming back. I think of his warm smile and I kills me inside. There is nothing I can do. I’m so confused, why didn’t god take me? Josh had such a bright future. Track star, future doctor. It’s all gone now. So all I do is lay in bed and cry. Then suddenly it’s like I can feel him holding me, like he is still here comforting me. I gently fall asleep. In his arms.

I wake up, today is Josh’s funeral. I get dressed, and I drive to the showing. I arrive safely at the church. And I wait in line to see him one last time. I look around, seeing family members crying, It kills me to look at there emotional faces. Finally I get up to the casket, I look at him all cleaned up and he looks so peaceful. I start crying and gently step away. Ten minutes later we leave to go to the cemetery. We arrive, it’s gently snowing. They burried him and each person is supposed to leave a rose. His parents go first, then his grandparents, then close relatives. I was the last person. I was all alone. Everyone else had left. The snow is still falling, I drop the rose and gently finish the sentence I once started, “ I love you.” Then I simply walk away.





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BrownEyedGirl said...
Jan. 27, 2011 at 9:11 pm
That was so sweet.  i wish he didn't die though.
 
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