You always used to ask me "Why Won't You admit it? I know it's true" and I would always say "How do you know that?" and I could tell how you saw right through me. Its too bad I didn't care about that because I lost something good. You would say, "I've known you for years now, and I see the way you look at me. Everyone else sees it too. This feeling is mutual." and I would always tell you it wasn't. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't love you at all, I wouldn't. I always did though. I remember how you'd come up behind me, and put your hands over my eyes. I remember how you would whisper in my ear to guess who it was. I loved it. But then you stopped one day. You found someone else. You still look at me the same way. You still smile at me. You still make me laugh. Sadly you make me cry sometimes too. You stopped trying to get me to admit it. You've given up on me. That's why I am now the one starting to wonder. When you found another girl, and she wasn't like me, she admitted it, and you made her your girlfriend, I got jealous. I was angry with you for no reason. I was mean to you, I yelled at you. It got to the point where you gave up on being friends all together. you didn't call. You didn't smile at me anymore. And whenever you looked at me, you frowned a little. I couldn't show you how I felt because I was afraid, and because of that I lost you. I treated you wrong, I told you I hated you, when it wasn't true. So that's why I walked up to you yesterday. When Lisa and I saw you at the mall. With yet another girl. I could tell she was you girlfriend, but even with Lisa trying to stop me, I had to get it off my chest. I had to tell you. I couldn't go on hurting anymore. I couldn't let it go on another day. So I walked up to you, and your friends, and your girlfriend. "Can I talk to you?" everyone looked kind of surprised they all knew that we'd stopped talking. They all knew that we hadn't talked in months. You almost declined but you didn't and I was glad. We walked out of earshot, but not eyesight. And as soon as we stopped walking I said it, "I love you. I always have, and i'm sorry for how I treated you, it was wrong. I know I hurt you and I can't say enough how sorry I am." I was rambling and I started crying, but you still listened. "And I know I was wrong, and I couldn't let it go on another day. And I know you don't love me anymore I just... I had to tell you, because, it was stuck on my mind, and I couldn't get it off, and it was driving me crazy. I'm sorry. Just so you know" I finished and I didn't give you enough time, to say anything. I just turned and walked away, moving fast and still crying. lisa was waiting for me, as I walked pass your friends and your girlfriend. I was so happy to get that off of my chest. I was so happy that I had finally told you. But nothing made me more happy than what came next. "Tina!" I turned around to see you still standing in the same spot. You were looking at me in that way you used to before I went all crazy on you and made you hate me. "Just so you know, I love you too, never stopped." And I couldn't help but smile.
Just So You Know
January 10, 2011