The Unneeded Letter

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My Dearest,
Waiting. This has became a daily part of my life now that you have left. I still remember the last words yo whispered agianst my ear. " Wait for me," you said as soft as a whisper. At that moment I had only shaken my head as tears fell down my rose cheeks. "Of courseI will," I had answered as you turned to go. But now months have gone by since that moment and I find myself forgetting. Was the blue of your eyes closer to a crystal or the color of the ocean? Did your dimples on your face show with a slight grin? I dig through pictures to try and find the answers, but it seems as though there are no pictures to capture you. Sure, I can find one of you with your friends after the game or with your family in the park, but never a photo that captures the smile you show as you look at me or the way your arms hold my body against yours. As these images begin to fade from my own mind, I cannot help but to question this waiting. You left with the expectation that I would wait forever. How can you expect that out of me? A month has turned into a year, and a year is about to turn into two. I am becoming restless. I do not know what to do and I...

"Knock, Knock."

I look up from writing my letter to notice a car has pulled into the drive and the visitor must be at the door. "Go away," I whisper to the air as I stand up to wipe my tears that had only started a few mintues prior. I was not in the mood to deal with a visitor. Before answering I walk to the sink and splash some cold water across my face. It surprises me how exhausted I look. Dark circles have begun to form inder my eyes and just the start of wrinkles are visible across my forehead. I'm convinced I have aged more in the past two years than I ever did im my first 25 years of life. Understanding that I cannot avoid the inevitable, I cross the hall to answer the door.
The knocking on the door sounds distant even though I stand right behind the door. My hand grips the handle and the door retredes back slowly. The image of the person standing in front of me brought more instant tears. His features had changed. He looked older and tired, a resemblance we shared with one another. My first instinct was to embrace him fiercely, but I could not bring my broken heart to consent. There were years of hurt all piled out in front of me. My next reaction was to turn and shut the door and cry by myself, maybe with the intention of calling him later. He was alread ahead of me. Before I could finish turning to go, he walked through the doorway, taking me with him. I didn't try and resist. I just let my shoulders lean into his embrace and let the weight of the years apart fall. We stood for a while like that. I don't know if we knew what to say to each other. Back when we were teenagers full of love and livelyhood, we would have simply laughed at this nonsense and moved on. But now, with the reality of life facing us, we didn't know what to say. He spoke first.
"I have missed you," he said, "more than you could ever know. I would lay awake at night knowing that my absence was keeping you from writing. You always had written beautiful notes ins chool and up till I had to go. I'm sorry I made that light die in you. Please forgive me."
I couldn't speak. I just wept in his arms, unable to control my feelings. My emotions were loose. Through my tears I told him about my life without him. Everything that had happened, I told him. It wasn't till I was finally done did he left my head to look at him. As he smiled I reconized those familiar dimples and contours alon his face. As he pulled me closer, I could remember the feeling of his embraces and as I looked at him again everything started to come back. His eyes were still crystal blue and his kisses just as sweet, with that unneeded letter sitting on the table bearing witness to this unlikely love.





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