You never did or you always will

December 16, 2010
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You don’t just stop loving someone. Either you never did, or you always will. That’s the way it was for Jayna. As an incoming freshman to a school of over 2,000, Jayna saw hundreds of faces looking down upon her as she squeezed her way through the halls to class each day. Had it not been for marching band that glorious summer, her status of knowing upperclassmen would have been close to zero. That’s how Jayna found Kaden, or did he find her? A senior and a freshman, is it possible? Who started it? Did it matter that Kaden was still dating Tensly going on their second year, or that he flirted with just about every girl he could make eye contact with? Of course, but Jayna couldn’t see to the horizon, she had been swept off her feet. There was someone she loved, one person who accepted her. The blue sparkle of his crystal eyes, told her everything would be alright, that he loved her too; this was the start of a fairytale...
The first trimester at the high school Jayna and Kaden grew closer; they passed sweet little notes back and forth in the hallway, walked to class together and most importantly, kept their relationship a secret. However, the only one that didn’t know the real story was Tensly, Kaden’s official girlfriend. While the secret love affair ‘grew’, Kaden became distant, and almost cold. He was still dating Tensly and having relations with other girls. Kaden was a cheater.

But the truth wasn't discovered until the...mistress told the dirty little secrets that weren’t so little. Yet, the truth was never uttered form Kaden’s own lips. These were that same lips that gently gave Jayna her first kiss, the lips that had kissed Tensly hundreds of times, the same lips that told lies over and over through their affair.
Third trimester soon arrived of Jayna’s freshman year. Soon, she would be a sophomore. Kaden and Jayna were no longer together. They no longer talked. No longer made eye contact. No longer enjoyed each other’s company. They fell apart...

Kaden graduated and went to college. Jayna tried to forget; she tried to heal what was broken. She once loved him, and still did, but she knew it would never work. It was time to let go, or at least try.
Summer came and went, and Kaden came home to visit his friends, but soon left again. Everyone talked about him because they were his friends, but Jayna kept in the shadow trying not to show her disappointment, anger, and pain.
Her sophomore year began, and so did pep band. The high school football team was going to state. With that they had the chance to play in the Dome. Squished together and piled on top of one another, Jayna sat with her new friend Faye. The two of them had been inseparable since the beginning of the marching band season. Faye new all of the stories about Kaden and the love that Jayna still felt for him.

That night Jayna heard that, none other than Kaden was coming to enjoy the football game. As he walked down the steps towards the band she heard people yelling his name, and climbing the seats to join him. But what was unexpected was the name which was called out of thin air.

“Jayna”, Kaden yelled down six rows of chairs.
It would have been rude not to acknowledge his presence so Jayna turned around slowly, and ever so slightly, smiled politely and faced the front once more. Through the night Kaden’s name was heard over and over again, and each time Jayna winced. It is hard to give it up. Like an addict, she still felt the pain of the last use.

Jayna tuned to Faye said with sadness, “I like him, a lot, but I need to stop, because if I don’t stop now, it will hurt more in the end.”

You don’t just stop loving someone, either you never did, or you always will.





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