I’m longing for him. Wanting him to be mine, and to call mine for as long as I could think. It undeniable how crazy I am about him. He’s one of those guys who is a little nerdy, but not at all at the same time. His eyes are like ocean, the shades of blue and green, put you in this hypnotized Trans when you look into them. His lips are full and gentle with a soft pink arch longing for you to kiss them. I can’t! But even though I know I can’t I think about it every time I see him. The thought of the possibility of just doing it makes me so nervous but makes me ready to go for it. I wonder what he would do. I mean we have been best friends since the first grade. Comfortable. Not comfortable like wearing soft, fuzzy socks, or your favorite worn out sweatshirt. But comfortable in his arms, the feeling that nothing bad could happen to you for all eternity when you’re being held. He’s the one guy I trust with everything. Everything except one thing. Love! Him and I have dated three times in the past. But for some reason we keep coming back to each other. This summer was one of the best summers I have ever had. We were together almost every single day, watching movies, poking and pinching each other, and even just going on a walk around the lake. I can be myself. The loud, annoying, outgoing person I know I truly am. Me and him are more alike then I realize most of the time. I guess I can’t blame him for wanting to date someone else then. Or can I? Nope I can’t. I have never once left him or broke up with him because of another guy. Yet he seemed to do that to me just recently. He supposedly wants to date this girl I can hardly control my hate for, when I am around her. She is just one of those manipulative, compulsive liar types. You know! The ones you can’t trust! I being secretly in love with my best friend; I know I need to let him go. He is the last guy I ever want to let go though. The one and only guy I want to see myself end up with... well so I think. Seeing him happy is the best thing in the world and it’s the only thing I ask for.
I Love You?
December 8, 2010