I awake from my deep slumber, hoping, wishing, praying that the events of yesterdays past are a figment of my imagination, a dream. Throwing the silk sheets off of me I attempt to walk gracefully to my silver mirror on the other side of the empty box of air I call my room, but stagger instead. However I still manage to reach the glassy, clear, oval shaped mirror and one glance tells me that the events that I had so regretted, have indeed occurred. My usually bright, glinting baby blue eyes are a dark midnight blue and puffy from crying. The blonde silky straight hair that I once had, has been replaced with tangles and snarls similar to branches of a tree and my cheeks are stained with muddy streaks from my make-up. Seeing my reflection all the memories come rushing back overwhelming me, and sending more salty tears down my face. I crouch down into a corner curling up in to a ball letting it all out not glancing up once except to look at the clock sitting on a shelf next to my bathtub. Thats when the sense of delirium starts, when I see him. My boyfriend, my dead boyfriend standing in my doorway look down at me with a pain stricken face. He speaks, “its not your fault, I didn't die because of you and don't let anyone tell you that. And remember I will always love you” He fades away into oblivion ,into nothingness, into the light. And even though I can't see him any more, feel his gentle touch, he will always remain in my heart.
December 6, 2010