The rain pounded on the windshield in an unforgiving rush of drops. The wiper blades worked against the glass and yet they did nothing. It was still just as blurry. A young girl stared out at the black vastness in front of her. Her tears were mirroring the storm outside. Her foot pressed harder on the accelerator. The rev of the engine was strangely comforting to her. It reminded her. Memories flashed through her head as lightning broke up the darkness. Silently, she sobbed, her shoulders shaking. The car sped up and she felt a rush flow from her head to the tips of her toes. The hair on her body stood on end and she shivered. Blinking the burning tears from her eyes, the girl continued down the highway. It was eerily empty that night. Flicking her eyes to her mirrors, she could see nothing in the veil of rain. Perhaps a few other cars were passing, but she couldn’t tell. A song played quietly on her radio. She reached her hand over to the dial and turned up the volume. A familiar melody filled her car and the tears she’d tried so hard to get rid of came back with a vengeance. This time the sobs weren’t silent. A quiet whimper fell from her lips and her foot pressed that much harder on the pedal. She no longer cared about the speed. Her only thought was escaping everything that she’d been surrounded with. No more people looking at her with questioning eyes. No more pretending to smile. No more meaningless encounters in hopes of forgetting. She was done with all of it. She didn’t want it anymore. She told herself that she wasn’t sure what she wanted, but that was a lie. She knew exactly what she wanted. It was him. Him and only him. Nothing more. Nothing less. With him, everything worked. It all fell into place perfectly. In a life without him, nothing worked. Everything came crashing down and nothing seemed to fit. It was as if she were three years old again and trying to finish a puzzle. The pieces all confused her and in a vain attempt to complete it, she forced pieces into places that they really didn’t belong. Such was life without him. So many confusing pieces and no idea of how to fit them in. And so she took the pieces and pushed them into a place that they didn’t necessarily belong. But she made them fit. Forced them. Bent and distorted versions what they’d started as. Lost in her thoughts, the girl didn’t notice a pair of headlights that magically appeared out of the storm. Her foot hadn’t let up on the pedal so her speed was almost out of her control. The needle inched its way further up the scale and before she knew it a horn was blaring in her ear and her heart sped up. Switching her foot over to the brake as soon as she could, she stomped on it with as much force as she could. No good. Too late. Contact had been made and she was spinning. She closed her eyes and saw a face. A familiar, warm face. Her car was still going fast but slowing down with each revolution. She felt another hit from the side of the rode. Squeezing her eyes tighter, the face became clearer. His warm brown eyes stared into her soul. Her heart slowed and she allowed herself to sink deep into the pain that was surging through her. All her thoughts were turned to the deep, dark eyes that had given her so much comfort. She loved those eye. She loved him. And would always. A dark, excruciating fog began to cloud everything. With a goodbye to the face, she let it all go. She escaped.
December 6, 2010