Unforgiveable...

November 26, 2010
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Silently I opened the rooms door, and entered . The room was amazing, the light from the window stroke on the red bed sheet and gave an amazing reflection, as if there were red light bulbs. Red roses filled the room, and white roses curved a heart on the bed, with our picture in it. And a beautiful red night gown for me to wear, and a note. A note which said "wait for me, I'll be here by 9:00". I looked at my watch and saw it was 8:05, I had an hour to prepare myself.
I was so happy, finally this is going to happen finally. I entered the toilet took a fast shower , blow dried hair, and started putting make up. Several shades of colors, till I finally used the perfect one, silver. Red lipstick to match the room, and an amazing perfume. I wore the night gown he had placed and looked at the mirror.
I looked at myself, I felt pretty and looked pretty too. This is the night that I'll remember for ever, the night he will finally bend to his knees and ask me the question. We've been together for about three years, and this is the first time he prepares such a surprise. Such an amazing surprise, he is of course going to propose, I am sure. I lifted my left hand and stared at my finger, a finger where eventually there is going to be placed a diamond ring. I smiled, it felt happy that I will no longer be just his girl friend, instead his fiancé and eventually his wife. Oh , how I dream of the day , the day I stand in front of him, and say I DO.
I laid on the bed trying not to mess up the roses, and looked at my watch. It was about 8:47, 3 minutes and he'll be here I said to myself". After a while he didn’t show up, I raised my hand and stared at my watch it was 9:10. He is stuck in traffic, I said to myself. Trying to make it seem easy, making the idea of him being late seem easy.
I waited and waited, and waited I looked at my watch it was 11:00. I have been laying on bed for two hours, and he is not here. Where is he? What is taking him so long? I stood up from bed, took my cell phone and called him. He didn’t answer, I tried for about three times and the fourth time his phone was turned off. Where is he? What is he doing? I thought to myself…. Why is he soooo late?
I felt so upset, so devastated, is he with someone else? Or is there something wrong with him? I felt so tired from pacing around in the room so I went to the kitchen , drank some water and went back to the bed room. So tired and exhausted I slept on the bed.
When I woke up, it was about 4:30 after midnight , I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a disappointed person, but before I was about to tear up and cry the door opened. And there he was, he entered with his head toward the ground.
I was so angry, so in a high pitched voice I asked "where were you?, I got worried sick…", he smiled and said "it doesn’t matter, what matters is what I am going to say". I had a rush of happiness , he was going to propose.
He held my hands , smiled and said " Claire, we've been together for three whole years, and these three years were the best years of my life. I really love you and adore you. You are an amazing person". I smiled and had the yes word ready for me to say. He squeezed my hand, and when I though he was going to ask me will you marry me, he said "but, I can't continue my life with you. I am sorry but this is all what I can say".
I couldn’t take a breath, I was shocked, my hand suddenly fell form his and I started backing off. I was about to fall to the ground if I hadn’t leaned over my closet. I was in total shock. He approached me and said "Claire, I am sorry .". I pushed him away with my hand, and when I was about to yell and give him the speech. I spit in his face, wore my robe and my bag and went out of the house.
He followed , and said "Claire I met someone else, someone I think is better for me, I am sorry". I couldn’t leave without yelling, without freeing what is inside me , so I turned to face him and said "don’t you dare say sorry, don’t you dare say it. What are you sorry for? For making me love you for three straight years, and the night when I thought you were going to propose you broke up with me. I loved you and the problem is I still love you, but ….".
I entered my car, turned it on and started driving I didn’t have any destination…. Suddenly I reached to the beach I went of my car and started walking by the beach. Remembering, remembering all the things we did , all the moments we had. He used to say I was the one, the only person he'll love. He used to try to make me happy, to love me. We had a lot of great moments together, and I loved him and still do but the way he left was unforgiveable .
I started imagining him with her, with the new me, will he tell her all the things he used to tell me. Will he hold her tight and tell her I love you, will he kiss her so passionately as he did to me. Will he love her , as I thought he loved me.
Well I just want to ask him one thing , "why did you prepare a romantic night, to leave me? Is it to humiliate me , or to make me expect happiness" .But in either way I still love you, and will always do , but the way you left was unforgiveable.





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