There have been times in my life that I say I am thankful for. Those times range from having been complicated, painful, sad, and/or happy. I am not perfect nor do I strive to be. I love each and every second of my life whether the time I go through are good or bad. It's been about two and a half months now since I had gotten a phone call that a girl never wants to get. It was from my boyfriend. We had been having some problems for a few months but I never expected this phone call; “I love you but we just can’t be together anymore. I’m just not happy.” These words echoed in my ears and shattered my heart. When I hung up the phone I became a hysterical mess. I had never wept so violently in my entire life. He had done what he always promised he wouldn’t, broken my heart. I have come to peace with myself though, and I realize that this has everything to do with him and he needs to figure out his own life and grow up before he can fully love someone the ways that I loved him. Our love started in July of 2009 under the trees in the warm summer air. I knew right away that he was different, or so I thought at the time. We had spent a year and almost two wonderful months growing into love with one another. It was a brilliant year filled with many extraordinary memories. We were so alike yet so different but for the course of our relationship we fit together, and we made sense. He became my very best friend who I still love and always will with all of my soul. I know in my heart that there will never be another him nor will I love someone the ways I loved him. We had said we would remain friends but we had our final blow out that shattered my already broken heart once again. He was rude, mean, and awful to me. He said things I never would have pictured him to ever say. I had to realize through his mean and hurtful words that he no longer wished to have any communication whatsoever with me. I had to realize that my once best friend no longer cared about me. I had to accept what I didn't want to. What hurt me the most was that I realized that he was not that wonderful man I would marry someday and now I must move past the painful breakup. I have learned many things in my life. I have learned that no matter how hard you put into something, someone will always not put in as much. Life is a series of unexpected events that will leave you breathless, exhausted, and confused. Day by day I am moving on because I refuse to give up, and I refuse to let this boy ruin my life. I have many things to look forward to in my near and far future. I lost my boyfriend and my best friend all in one sitting, and I will never get him back. This awful breakup has taught me not only that everything happens for a reason, but I now know that I am strong and brave individual. My advice to you readers is that if you are hurting because of a breakup, please trust me when I tell you this, it will get better with time.
He left me, now what?
November 18, 2010