Am I really in Love?

November 22, 2010
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Am I really in Love? I ask that question to myself everyday. Do I love him? Or on the other hand, am I just longing someone to be with? How can I find the answers when the guy is sitting right in front of me? I can’t ask him, he’ll just laugh at me or not respond. I don’t know which is worse. I wonder what he is thinking, I wonder what is on his mind. I wonder what lies behind those dark brown curls and those soft green eyes. I wonder what would happen if I ever told him what I was thinking. I hope he would still love me even though I’m not sure if I love him. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know how to act, and I don’t know what is real. And there he is right beside me, holding my hand. Right beneath the bright blue sky out on the sand. I wonder what tonight would be like if I knew I truly loved him. But now I can’t decide what to do. I don’t know right from wrong. And all that’s left for me to do is last this whole night long.

Does she really love me? I can never tell. She just means so much to me ever since I saw her eyes. She transported me to this special place where she was strong and tall. And she told me what I wanted to hear. She said to me that she loved me. But I’m not sure anymore. One day she was staring at me with those soft brown eyes of hers. She stared for so long I felt that I could see her soul. Her mind was open and her face was sweet. I don’t think I’ve seen her like that since then. How can I ask her those questions I have? How can I tell her how I feel? Does she know that I’m in love with her or that my love is real?

I wonder what he will say when I tell him my feelings tonight. I wonder what his eyes will look like, surprised? Full of fear? Or fright? Maybe he will just be shocked or maybe he will cry. I just hope that what I do won’t make him want to die. I love him. I really do. But my heart is set on someone else. I don’t know how to tell him, that I just want to be friends, I don’t know what to say to him to make those requiring amends.

“Honey, I don’t know how to tell you this…”

“Carmon, I know what you are going to say.”

“Seriously dear, I need you to know. I need you to see. I need you to hear. I need you to listen to what I have to say. Because chances are that you won’t figure it out today.”

“Carm, I’m listening, I won’t laugh or scream. Just go on and tell me cause I don’t know what to feel.”

“Alright now, here it goes. When I first met you, your eyes made me smile, your hair made me blush, and your body made me die. Now that I have known you I realized that you are no longer just that to me. You mean so much to me but not the way you think. You are my very best friend dear but no more than that. I really hope that you won’t hate me forever and that we can still be friends. I know that is such an old line but it means the very best. I wish we could stay together forever but that is not what I want. I really want to be with you so please tell me what you are thinking.”

“I think I’ve known for a while that this is what it would come to. Friends are not an option because the way you made me feel. I won’t not wave when you pass me by but only time can tell what the end will be like for me and you and I hope that all is well.”

So am I really in love? I think not anymore. From this day forward I will see what others make me for.

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This article has 28 comments. Post your own now!

sparkledreamer said...
Jan. 20, 2011 at 8:53 am
Maybe. if I could read the book you are writing
Vanendra replied...
Jan. 21, 2011 at 9:18 am
Sure :D type in The Social Class Beast in the serch box ^-^
sparkledreamer replied...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 11:10 pm
I tried searching for it but it does not show up. i would like to read it
Vanendra replied...
Feb. 3, 2011 at 9:06 am
Right now it is waiting to be published by the editors because I just added Three more chapters,I'll tell you when It's posted. :)
sparkledreamer replied...
Feb. 3, 2011 at 9:18 am
okay thanks
Vanendra replied...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 8:51 am
It is finally posted! ^-^ its called The Social Class Beast. Go to Fiction--Novels--Most Discussed--page 2 and it should be there... hope you like it :D ^-^ <3
sparkledreamer replied...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 7:20 pm
I read your book. it is so good. please write more. yes you can use the poem. thanks for asking
Vanendra replied...
Feb. 8, 2011 at 8:49 am
Thank you for letting me use it ^-^
sparkledreamer replied...
Feb. 8, 2011 at 9:13 am
your welcome. please continue writing and could you read my other works and tell me what you think? thanks so much :)
Vanendra replied...
Feb. 14, 2011 at 9:14 am
Yes I could ^-^ your very welcome! :D
Vanendra said...
Jan. 20, 2011 at 8:50 am
Wow I love this poem! is there any way I could use it to start a book I'm writting? Giving you the credit of course ^-^
GangstaEyes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 30, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Pretty good :) I like how you switched perspectives and the subtle rhyming was really catchy. Maybe work on the flow a little? Anyway, you've definitely got talent! Keep writing :)
sparkledreamer replied...
Dec. 30, 2010 at 3:50 pm
thanks so much
UnwantedNinja said...
Nov. 28, 2010 at 10:13 am
I never noticed the ryhming because i was so loving this story wow amazing
HackySackPro replied...
Nov. 30, 2010 at 11:46 am
honestly this make me want to cry, i have been feelin like that dude for so long, but i hide those feelings with my love for her... this has helped me tons, thank you so much.
sparkledreamer replied...
Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:33 pm
Your welcome. I am glad you enjoyed it.
bluebel304 said...
Nov. 27, 2010 at 2:44 pm
bleeeehhhhh. well, it was awesome anyways. you r learning, my young grasshopper
Jsweetness said...
Nov. 25, 2010 at 9:24 pm
I like it, considering the fact that I'm a die-hard UNromantic...but I think the guy is too sensitive. That's just me. But seeing as I'm not a guy, I can't really claim that guys don't think like that. But it's good though, it really is
Emmaline1224 said...
Nov. 25, 2010 at 12:08 pm
this is really good!!!  I didn't find any mistakes my frist time reading so thats pretty good!!  but I kinda was confused! was this part of another bigger story?!? but other than that it was great!
bluebel304 said...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 10:09 pm

This was amazing. So sad though :(

also, IT DIDNT HAVE GRASSHOPPERS OR ANTS!!! bleehhhh how could you??

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