baleigh's somg

November 21, 2010
i stepped under the branches of the bigg droopy willow tree. the evening sun setting making the under side of the branches were i stood look magnifacently beautiful. i walked close to the brick wall in the back closing in the school. i felt the leaves of the willow tree, soaking in its beauty. "baleigh" a deep voice called.
I looked back to see who was calling my name. oh my it is Jericho. I thought. "how did you get here?" i asked
"no i mean how did you get over to the girls campus, how did you get passed the guards"
"i have my ways" he grinned.
"what do you want"
"to see you babe"
i stared what is up with him why does he harass me." why dont you just go be with your girlfriend"
"i am"
"i am not your girlfriend"
but you wanna be" he got really close to my face, his lips was so close to mine, his breath warm on my face.
"no" i stated and walked away from him, but then turned back to look.
His ice blue eyes dragged up and down my body. A giant smile curved on his face. He was wearing a a plain white tee shirt and black skiny jeans. he had shaggy brawn hair and was nicely built, but he was also a jerk. "so i was wondering if you wanted your journal back" he raised one eyebrow, while his cocky attitude raised with it.
"you stole my journal?" i asked. angry that he always had to harass me.
"yeah but i will give it back if you come to a party with me" he grinned. i got really close anger ignighted in me."GET-A-LIFE" I yelled. he placed his hand on my shoulder and i flicked it off then i gave him the nicest fake smile i could and said " party on"
I walked to the back and prayed he wouldnt fallow but he did anyway. " but you want your journal back right?" he asked.
"yes" i frowned
"well then since you don't want to party with me i guess we will make a deal"
"you go to prom with me and i will give you your journal back"
hahah no way"
"well then i guess you dont need this" he said and took his hand out behind his back and shownd me my journal. i lunged for it but he pushed me back against the wall. " no no no"
His arms flung up on the wall next to me, blocking me in.
"so yes or no"
"fine i will go with you but i want my journal back now"
"do you think i am an idiot, you dont get this back till after the dance."
I looked up and tears started to fill my eyes. the tears blotched the colors together. all the greens, red, pink, purple,and blues mixed. the wind wiped my blac hair infront of my face. Jericho reached up and with the tip of his finger slid it behind my ear the traced down my jaw line. I looked at him deep in his ice blue eyes and pushed him as hard as i could then ran faster then i ever have before. And like he always does he follows and grabs my arm. "hey hey" he grinned.
I turned to face him and frowned wiping the tears from my eyes. "what do you want?"
"i need to tell you something." he frowned and looked really upset.
"i wasnt always this bad i used to be a really nice kid"
"why did you change?"
"it was a few years back, me and my mother where in a car and while i went into to get a drink for my mother, out of nowhere i hearde a gun shoot." he paused and even before he said it i knew what hadd happened.
"oh god" i whispered.
"she was shot she had not died yet when i got there. but i sat with her there till her heart stoppoed beating." he finished.
"why are you telling me this?" i questioned.
"because i..... well.... i really like you" he sighed.
i freezed.... did he just say he liked me.

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This article has 16 comments. Post your own now!

Medina D. said...
Nov. 30, 2010 at 3:42 pm
I'm with them on the grammar. And the gun story was raaaaaaaaandom
MysteryHeart said...
Nov. 30, 2010 at 11:53 am
ya i think the story was definately rushed. and the whole part of telling her about  his mom .... no point.
Chanchie said...
Nov. 30, 2010 at 8:11 am
'freezed'-the correct word is froze :)
CrazyWriter said...
Nov. 29, 2010 at 4:13 pm

I thoought it went alittle too fast ....however it says in the comments this is a part of a book  so... I guess things must be expalined during the book.... Its cute I got to admit. the title is eyecatching and the story is as well. I have to agree also:the grammar. Next time.... please Capitalize...please... Still you have a nce plot going...


Bay S. said...
Nov. 28, 2010 at 3:50 pm
great article- im kinda working on a piece like this but all my friends would rather die than actually read something of mine.
FlawlessLawless said...
Nov. 27, 2010 at 9:26 pm


That was GREAT!! keep it up!!

steph95 said...
Nov. 25, 2010 at 1:37 pm

really nice... love it. and you should just reread it before you poste it for some speeling mistake.

but the idea is amazing, looking forward to read more.... :D

Emmaline1224 said...
Nov. 25, 2010 at 11:52 am
this is really good! Like you have a good idea, now the writing could use some work...make sure u always capilitize your "I". and make sure things are spelled suggestion (if u don't already) is type it in a word document first and then copy and paste into the summiting box thing! haha...but this is a really good story I liked it!
franc replied...
Nov. 25, 2010 at 6:40 pm
i agree with you except on the "i" thing. i NEVER capitalize "i." it's so narcissistic.
Mykindapeopledontcarewhatyouthink replied...
Nov. 27, 2010 at 7:47 pm




Not to be mean but capitalizing I is calle correct grammer

EvE! said...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 3:52 pm
really cute i think u shud add more
TaylorRenee14 replied...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 9:02 pm

i am this is actually just a scene from my full story Baleigh's song

but thanks :)

TaylorRenee14 said...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 2:24 pm
my bad people it is suppose to be baleigh's song!!!! oops!!!
Esperanza replied...
Nov. 27, 2010 at 6:03 pm
Great song just a few grammatical mistakes but its a song so peoples get the message either way good job :)
Esperanza replied...
Nov. 27, 2010 at 6:04 pm
It kind of leaves you wanting more tho :(
happysoul replied...
Nov. 29, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Grammmer! Also, the whole shooting thing was kind of random and you should have really wrote a more detailed end with some voice from the main character. I liked the idea. Keep writing, you're good at it!
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