An made up emotion

November 20, 2010
My name is Ellie Miller and I made the biggest mistake anyone anywhere could ever make...
But let's start from the beginning.

I've never been the “typical” type of girl. Most girls want to meet a great guy, have a decent career, and then eventually get married and have kids, they want love. It seems like the typical American dream right? for a teenaged girl at least.
I never wanted any of that. Don't get me wrong I've been on dates, and I've had boyfriends before but the Idea of love to me was moronic. An made up emotion I thought, leaning against my locker as a few of my class mates hung up a banner which read Victorian Ball Next Friday and placed it above the arch in the hallway.

“Victorian, Vintage” I heard a low but gentle voice say behind me.
I turned around to make a sarcastic remark, but something stopped me and until this day I still have no idea what that “thing” was.
A boy stood behind me stuffing his book bag in a locker which I assumed to be his. He had straightened fairly long black hair, dark green eyes and ivory skin.
“I'm Zac” he smiled, closing his locker. “I'm new here” he added, holding out his hand. “Ellie” I said shaking it.
“Are you going to the dance?” he asked his eyes gazing into mine, making me a bit uncomfortable.
“No, dances aren't really my thing” I said, turning the combination lock on my locker. “And what is your thing”
he asked,leaning against his.
“Why are you asking so many questions?” I laughed grabbing my English book. He smirked.
“I know I shouldn't judge, but everyone is indifferent and sure they look different but it's as if there all just...clones” he said, with a disgusted look on his face.
“Then I saw you and you changed my perceptive” he said. I rolled my eyes. Like I said earlier I'm not like most teenaged girls, and that includes my physical image.
I had straight candy apple red hair, and my bangs where almost always tugged behind my ear or else they'd fall in my eyes, which I find a bit annoying. I had green eyes and always wore ruby red lipstick. Today I wore a blue tank top over a yellow short sleeved shirt, a yellow plaid mini skirt, blue leggins and a pair of black and white converses. It's my fault really, I've always been rather colorful when it comes to my wardrobe.
“It's a shame your the only one” he said.
“Sorry to disappoint you” I said, before closing my locker.
“No, no that's not what I meant” he said. “I know Zac” I laughed.
“What class are you heading to?” he asked.
“Study hall” I said.
“Ah, that's what the book is for so you can study” he said. I shook my head.
“No, the English book is so I can look busy while I listen
to music” I smirked. He smiled.
“Even better” he said.
“Can I walk you?” he asked.
I nodded, then we made our way down the hallway.
“Do you like music?” he asked when we reached study hall.
“That's a stupid question, who doesn't like music?” I asked.
He smiled. “I'm taking you out tonight” he said. I laughed.
“No, your not” I said. “I'll pick up at 8” he said.

Till this day I still have no idea how he knew where I lived but surely enough that night at 8pm, he was at my door.
He had forced me to go to a concert in my Pj's (because I wasn't dressed properly) The concert was amazing! He was amazing!
So this next part in the story is pretty obvious...
I kissed him.
Then he asked to be my boyfriend, and of course I said yes.

Everything was perfect absolutely perfect until the night before graduation. He got into Julliard, over the years I learned that that was his biggest dream since he was 5, to attend Julliard. But He didn't want to go, because of me. But I made him... I didn't give him a reason to say, I did the most logical thing I could think of that would make him want to go. I broke up with him.
I never saw him so angry he stormed out the door, and he hasn't contacted me since.

But letting Zac go to New York....
that was not my mistake.
My mistake was the very thing I told myself didn't exist...
when Zac left I realized, that I was in love with him.
And not your puppy dog love, I wanted to be with him forever I never wanted us to be apart, He was my everything,
and without him, nothing mattered.
I guess that's why about a week later a flew to new york and told him how I felt.

“I'm in love with you Zac” I cried, after almost an hour of apologizing. He nodded, his face expressionless.
“Please forgive me, Zac I love you to much to let you go” I said.
He stared at me his eyes unreadable.
“Damnit Zac say something!” I exclaimed.
Suddenly his lips were on mine.
“Finally” he sighed.

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