What's Meant To Be

November 13, 2010
I turn the volume up on my radio, wincing as the sound makes my eardrums ache. I know it is only a matter of time before one or both of my parents yell from down the hall for me to turn the music down. I don’t care though; I stopped caring quite a while ago.

I concentrate on the beat of the song that is playing. I have never listened to rap in my entire life, but every other genre reminded me of him—a subject that I try to keep my mind away from at all costs. I will be in tears soon if I don’t think of something else.

I don’t know why I constantly am listening to the radio, when it always brings back thoughts of him. The song changes and I don’t make a move to change it, though the lyrics seem to rip the tear in my heart even wider.

He was one of my closest friends. Once we started to date, we became all the more inseparable. I fell for him, though he did not for me. My love went unrequited, and I could not help but notice the way he looked at his ex-girlfriend from across the cafeteria. Eventually, we ended our relationship. I took the loss much harder than he did.

I let the tears fall freely now. I am sick of trying to hold them in. Maybe I just need a good cry, I think wryly as I grab for a tissue. Of course, I have been crying the majority of my free time since it happened. But maybe, just maybe…

What’s meant to be will always find a way. The thought echoes suddenly through my cloudy mind. My crying stops abruptly. That is exactly right. This isn’t the end of the world.

Sniffling and wiping my wet cheeks, I lean to take the picture of us that I have had on my nightstand for so long that it has practically become a permanent fixture. I slide the picture out of the frame and stare at it for a long moment, not noticing the loud beat of a rapper in the background. Slowly I smile and know that I have gotten over him. I rip the picture in two and toss it into my wastebasket. I know that I have moved on.

“What’s meant to be,” I whisper, a small smile playing across my mouth.

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