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Monica's temper flares. "You left me, you piece of s***." She clenches her fists to stop herself from trembling.

"Come on. Don't be like that. You know how the music business is."

"I trusted you, Tom. Do you know how much it hurt to wake up the next morning to see you not there?"

"Monica…"

"Shut up. I f***ing risked our friendship, everything we've ever had, and gave into my feelings. I ruined six years of a friendship for one night." She looks away. "I've always been in love with you, Tom." She says softly. "I mean, when we first met, I absolutely hated you. Your cocky, arrogant, selfish, competitive nature bugged the s*** out of me. The only thing that kept me around was your music. It was actually mainly the guitar in your songs. I saw your real personality through your music. I felt like I could see you better when I was watching from afar.

"I loved how you threw yourself into the music and always played with your heart. I always loved how sexy you looked whenever you threw your head back when you really got into playing. And as time went on, I began to see you for who you truly are. I let you in, and I quickly found myself developing feelings and growing fonder for you by the minute.

"I told myself that I'd never have a chance. That I wasn't pretty enough for you. I know you'd only ever see me as a best friend, someone to come to with your troubles. But honestly Tom, hearing about all those girls were painful. I didn't like it. But I put up with it, every time, for your sake. I cared about you a lot. I though you cared about me, too." Monica whips her head over and bores her eyes into Tom's, her expression icy. "I guess not."

"How the h*** could you think that? I've always cared about you!"

"Bulls***, Tom!"

"No, not bulls***! You want to know why I was with all those girls? It was because I was in love with some girl whom I knew could never love me back. I told myself that I was not good enough for her, that I was just some wannabe white gangster, a punk who just happened to be the guitarist in a famous European band.

"I've always been second best at everything, Monica. Ever. Though music is the one thing I love most, in this band, I still come second. Whether the guys realize it or not, Bill is the Alpha. All those girls were there to make me feel important. I just wanted somebody who could appreciate me for who I am." Tom stops speaking when he realizes that Monica's kneeling on the ground, clutching her stomach with tears streaming down her face. Tom flinches. He's never seen her like that. It's just not who she is. His voice catches in his throat when he realizes that it's his fault. He reaches out to her. "Monica…" She stands up, looks him square in the eyes, and slaps him soundly across his face.

"What the f*** was that for?" He yells, cradling his cheek.

"What about me? Was I not good enough for you? Did you not see that I accepted you as you were, loved you as a whole? Goddammit Tom, did I ever even matter to you?" She turns to run away, but he grabs her wrist and spins them around so he has her pinned to a wall, their faces almost touching.

"Tell me what's going on with you." Tom's voice is gruff in her ear. He's close to crying now. He never realized how much pain he put her through all these years. She loves me? he thinks. A bittersweet confession. He feels the first tears roll down his cheeks against his will. Monica breathes heavily and slumps against the wall.

"It's not that you left me…" She whispers, and Tom listens in anticipation. "It's that you promised me that you'd be there in the morning to wake me up." Tom's eyes widen and he clenches them shut, the tears coming full force now. He releases his grip on her wrists and pulls her into his arms, her body slumping against his. "Tomi… you hurt me."

"I… I know. I panicked. It was too unreal for me, too perfect. You were the one that I've been in love with for six years, finally where I wanted you: in bed right next to me. But I was afraid that you'd leave me, so… I left before you could. Bill and the others could tell that something was wrong, but I was just too embarrassed over it. I've never been this way over a girl before. You mean more to me than the world and I just…" Tom takes a deep breath, trying to control his emotions once more.

"I know." Tom pulls away and presses his forehead to hers.

"Monica, you can trust me." He watches her close her eyes.

"I know."

"And no matter what, every time you wake up, I'll be there. I love you." A few tears trickle down her cheeks and she nods.

"I love you, too." He leans in and connects their lips in a delicate kiss, one powerful enough to resurface the friendship and passion they've had between them for so many years.





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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Robsessed said...
Nov. 14, 2010 at 8:58 pm
Wow, great story and very well written. It's full of intensity and passion and raw emotion.  Awesome job!
 
Robsessed replied...
Nov. 14, 2010 at 9:00 pm
me again. just saw you said it was sort of a fan fic. What could this be a fan fic for?
 
LinedWithCharcoal replied...
Nov. 14, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Ahahaha I just looked at this for the first time, I hadn't even realized they'd censored me... Yeah. Well thank you so much :D, and it's actually using the guitarist from Tokio Hotel. /shot
 
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