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I’m a small girl, short and skinny. I have dark skin, all thanks to the Spanish in me. I have burnet hair and brown eyes, I’m very generic, I hate that about myself. The boy on the rooftop was almost as generic, sharing my brown eyes and dark hair, but not my dark skin, his was more of a olive white, But somehow glowed, a shine that didn’t shine. He was glorious, every part of him, and even better, he was a figure from the past.
He and I had dated, not for long, but long enough for me to fall in love with him. He had always said he loved me, but there was always doubt since we were so far from each other all the time. We hardly ever saw each other, only about once or twice a year. Everything was happy for about four months, then he disappeared. Nobody knew where he went, not even his family, he was just gone.
All of the sudden he was here, sitting on a rooftop over a library. He had his head hung over his lap and didn’t notice me, but I knew his posture, his slender frame, the way he dressed, there was no one like him in the world. I was so eager to go to him, I wanted him to hold me again, kiss me like he had before, but I was nervous.
“Hey!” I hadn’t actually said anything, it was only an attempt. I was so stricken with fear; I was seeing someone who was gone, pronounced dead by the police almost a year ago. I sucked in a lungful of air and gave another attempt. “Hey!” It was louder than I thought it would be and I scared myself a little bit, but he heard and looked right at me.
Oh my god it was him, exactly as I remembered, staring at me with no emotion, no reaction. I was scared, I couldn’t move or say anything, I was totally at his mercy. An eternity passed before anything happened, we just stared at each other, saying nothing, but then he smiled.
It was small and slight, but clearly visible, lighting up my whole world. I relaxed slightly and shuffled a little in place. He stood up and took a half step toward me and I seized up again. Why was I so nervous? I had seen him so many times before.
A small voice spoke in my mind. "it's because he is dead." No, here he was, standing on the roof. No, he wasn't, he was back on the ground. How? He leaned against the wall behind him like nothing had happened.
"Hi. You look confused. What's your name?"
"yes, your name hun, what is it? I want to say its Jennifer, but I bet I'm wrong."
"no, you're right, I'm Jennifer, you used to call me Jen."
"so I do know you." A look of victory crossed his face and it pushed me over the edge.
My eyes filled with tears and the world waved. "Yes, you used to love me.." I broke down and fell to my knees, bawling my eyes out. He bent down and touched my shoulder but didn’t say anything.
"you don’t even know my name! you can't even remember who I am!" the words hardly came out understandably, but he seemed to understand all the same. He dropped his hand from my shoulder to my lower back and placed his other hand on my knee.
"I'm sorry for whatever happened, but I can't remember you, but from what I can gather about you, you seem like a nice girl, and I would like to get to know you better… again, I guess."
"Really? You would do that?"
"of course, but I have to leave for a while, but I promise I will come back."
"of course." He stood slowly. "I'll be back, no doubt about that." He started to walk away, not quickly, but not slowly either.
"Wait, your leaving now? When will you be back?" he tuned halfway around and gave me a reassuring smile, then kept walking. He kept walking forward. Suddenly he became translucent, more and more so until he was hardly visible. Only then did he turn to look at me, and when he did, he became totally invisible, gone again.
Once he was gone, I finally understood. I bowed my head in despair and, once again, began to cry.