“Oh great, here she comes...”

Abby was walking toward me. It’s not really that I hate her, but she is still in love with me. We dated for nine months over a year ago. The way she acts has just driven me away from her. Why does she still like me so much?! I mean really, I treat her like crap sometimes.

We did have a good relationship. It just kind of went away, once we started to fight over stupid and pointless things. I will always care for her, but I just don’t know that I could date her again. Look at her now, she acts like she’d do anything for me. Obviously she would worship me and do anything I wanted. That could be a good thing, but I just don’t know. Some of the things she does drive me crazy! For example she texts me all the time, freaking out about things I do. I just get so tired and annoyed with it.

I am not going to lie though; I don’t want her with another guy. I just have to keep my options open. When I am with her I can’t flirt or barely even talk to other girls without her getting jealous and mad. I enjoy talking and flirting with other girls way too much to give it all up now. She just wants us to have a serious relationship; I am just not ready for that now. If she would just leave me alone for a little bit, maybe someday we will have another chance. What draws me away from her is how obsessed she seems to be. I really would like to try dating her again, just not right now, maybe in another year or so.

The problem is that I can’t tell her this. Her knowing this could help her, but if I tell her then it is like a commitment or a promise to her. I would be committed to her again, but at this time I do not want to deal with a committed relationship. I also don’t want to hurt her more, because I could break that promise of dating again. I have hurt her more than enough times; she deserves better. In a way I have made it hard for her to move on and get what she deserves. I play games with her, sometimes I talk to her and lead her on, other times I completely ignore her. If only she would just be smart and stay away from me, then she could be happy. By telling her how I feel right now, I would just be getting her hopes up. What if I change my mind later on? What if I decide we shouldn’t date again? Abby could even find another guy in the time that she is waiting for me. I really don’t want her with another guy, yet I’m not sure that I want us to be together right now, and she really does deserve it. I guess I am kind of selfish…

For now I’m going to just keep ignoring her and see how it goes.