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Im Sorry Nicole
My entire life I’ve read romance novels, and loved listening to how people fell in love. I always thought it would happen for me, and it did. But in a way I never thought imaginable. I fell in love with my best friend. Now I know this a cliché for the masses, but I hope you will listen to our story, for it doesnt have a "cookie-cutter" end.
His name was Izzi. He had blonde, curly hair that could not be tamed. You could barely see his eyes, so full of life, unless you got close enough to see beneath his shell. I was drawn to him as if magnets were keeping me glued to his side. I felt like without him there, my world would stop spinning, but not romantically... yet. He was there to listen to me when the bullies picked on me, and I was there for him when his family was troubled.
When we got a little older we had more of a romantic attraction. He would try to make me jealous with the "bimbos" that he was obviously not attracted to whatsoever. And I would drop hints about wanting to see him more and how I felt like we could talk for hours. But he was older than me and moved schools and I had no choice but to be left behind without what I thought was my world.
Then one day, going two years without seeing his gorgeous face, I fell on him. Like literally someone pushed through a large crowd knocking me down in the process. When I looked down, with a face as red as anyone could imagine, I saw the eyes. His eyes. The eyes that I have yearned to see for so many years, there they were right in front of me. And instead of anger, there was amusement and delight on his face. He said in a cheery voice, "Well you certainly know how to make an entrance!"
I laughed and got up so he could get back up on his feet. He and I were just staring at each other. Taking in how much each other has changed. He had shorter hair, but still wild. He had the muscles of a football player, even though he never exercised a day in his life. And his eyes.... well as the cliché goes, some things never change.
By the end of the night, we caught up on almost everything that happened while we were apart. We exchanged numbers and I immediately felt my world snap back into focus. He was there again, and I was going to hold on.
One day I biked to his house, surprising him with a new guitar pick for his birthday. When he opened the door there was a girl hanging on his shoulders and my heart felt something towards him that I couldn’t understand.
"Who’s this?" she said in a condescending tone.
“I’m Nicole. I’m Izzi’s friend. I just wanted to drop this off for your birthday.” And after I finished the last syllable I leaped off his porch and headed for my bike. He chased after me knowing I was upset. He put his hand on my shoulder, and said “I’m sorry. Alex can get… jealous. Please don’t be mad Nikki!”
At that moment a tear stroked down my face and right there I knew … I loved him. It took me six years, two unsuccessful relationships, and the realization that I was losing him to know that I loved Izzi. So all I said was, “Happy Birthday Izzi,” and I rode away.
He spent the next couple days trying to get a hold of me but I refused to except that I loved him. Racking my brain for any other explanation for what I was feeling.
One saturday evening, while my parents were away, Izzi came to my house. When I opened the door I was surprised to see his beautiful eyes covered in a glossy sheen from the tears he was holding back.
"Just tell me what I did? Did I not give you enough signs? I mean... When you fell on me like that clutzy girl I know and love I thought this was my chance, but you never gave me the chance to show you."
"Love?" I said.
"What do you mean?" He replied confused.
"You said the girl you know and... and love," I held onto that word like it was the only thing keeping him in front of me.
He said, "Ive always loved you. And I knew the second you showed up on my doorstep and I knew Alex was no longer important. That you were the one who knew my secrets, whose seen me cry..." And now he was truly crying. Waiting for me to say something that would stop his emotions from going haywire.
I stepped forward, wrapped my hands around his neck, looked down at the ground looking for the right words, and eventually had the courage to find the words I needed.
"I love you Izzi. Always have, always will."
He leaned down, breathing hard, and with one last look in my eyes, he laid his lips on mine and my world was in full clarity for the first time. He leaned away slightly, to look in my eyes and to make sure I wanted this. When I realized he had pulled away I caught my breath and gently pulled him back. He was my oxygen. He was my life now. But suddenly a voice came from behind us.
We were both startled and quickly jumped around. Alex was standing there, with a scowl on her face.
All I remember afterward was a loud boom and waking up in the hospital. And the first thing I asked is, "Wheres Izzi???" They looked at me with heavy hearts and said, "Im sorry Nicole".
I knew right there that, that kiss is all I would have of the time we both were in love with each other. My world will go on being unclear with no focus to balance my pain.
Izzi was gone, and my world had ended.