Eyes Clear like the Sky

October 24, 2010
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I didn’t know what to do next after I said it. I started to walk away but I could feel his piercing blue eyes staring me down. I looked back, his eyes the color of a clear sky, tearing up like rain and I couldn’t take it. I tried to take one foot after the other down the sidewalk. Even after exiting the building I didn’t feel any better.

Our voices had echoed throughout the great halls; bounced off the marble floors. His perfect lips trying to say something unable to be put into words. That was it; I had ruined everything I held close to me. I could see the veins pulsing in his arms; his jaw clenching. His body language portrayed pure anger but I knew that all he felt was deep regret. Regret for not knowing what he had when he had it. Now that he had lost me he knew his mistakes and I could see it in his eyes. I felt as if I could see our entire past and everything that our future could have been, run circles in his eyes. I could see the first day we met, the first smile, the first conversation we ever had. It was all there, almost categorized by date, our memories, our struggles. I couldn’t help but venture back into all of those times that I still held so close to my heart, I was unsure if I could ever let them go. His hands remained in tight fists, his feet planted firmly on the ground, his eyes searching, searching. I felt like he was looking right through me while trying to find something, just one thing to hold onto, to hold onto us. What did he see? Suddenly I felt like my limbs were made of rubber, my knees weak, my vision blurred. I knew that I would have to turn around before I completely fell apart. Then again it wasn’t like he had never seen me like this, he knew me inside and out and I could never changed that. I knew all he wanted was to take it all back and rewind to when it was good and simple. I should have been able to forgive him; I knew and loved him more than I could ever admit. So why couldn’t I do it?





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