Why Does Loving You Hurt?

September 3, 2010
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I told you something I have never told anyone else. God, I regret that now. You act like it’s nothing; I may as well have told you I was thinking about dying my hair blonde. You thought it was a joke, laughed it off and changed the subject, whereas my heart was pounding, my stomach churning. Of all the ways I had thought it out, I never thought you’d be so… dismissive. You should have at least acknowledged it, said that you didn’t, don’t, feel the same way. You said nothing.

Now, life goes on like nothing ever happened. We’re still friends in the eyes of everyone else but why doesn’t it feel the same as it used to? I used to feel so comfortable around you, we had talks about meaningless stuff but it meant something to me and when I fell and you asked me if I was okay, I knew I wasn’t lying when I said yes. Now I am. I’m not okay; I’m hurting inside, because of you. I’ve cried over you so much I’m not sure I have any tears left but I know I’ll keep crying. I keep telling myself you’re not worth getting so worked up over, but then I see you and I know you are. You’re worth it all. I just wish things had worked out differently and I’d not said anything. I’d rather still be wondering what would happen if I told you, than know exactly how you feel because every second with you is torture now, and it shouldn’t be if it wasn’t before.

My friends, they don’t know how much it hurts; they think I’ve told them everything but I haven’t. How can I explain how much I love you? That’s right, I love you. This isn’t like when we were younger and it really was just one big joke, a different crush every week, I love you for real. I’ve never felt this way before; I’ve never loved someone enough to tell them the truth, I usually keep it to myself and hope it fades because I know it’s never going to happen. With you I had hope, hope that faded the minute I opened my mouth.

I saw you today.

Why does loving you hurt?

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Nerdy-Bookworm said...
Oct. 3, 2010 at 8:45 pm
I really love this.! I went through the same thing and still is, but neway this is really guud keep writing.!
BFG...BigFriendlyGingerxx replied...
Oct. 4, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Thank you <3
its_just_me said...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 11:51 am
I know exactly how this feels. I've been going through this for a few months now. It's amazing how you could put this into words, because I am still not able to. I hope everything works out for you! Good work, and keep writing:)
BFG...BigFriendlyGingerxx replied...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Thank you for the encouragement :) I think I'll need that luck, fingers crossed :/ Hope it all works out a-ok for you too
himu131195 said...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 7:51 am

this was really really good, 

you are a really good writer, your words just flowed on the page.


BFG...BigFriendlyGingerxx replied...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Thank you so much <3
NikitaBliss said...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 2:12 am

I really like this. :) And you havent wrecked it, I'm sure. Every love story has twists and turns, and this is just one of your twists, in the end it will all come down to what it is supposed to be. :) good work.

-Alaina :D

BFG...BigFriendlyGingerxx replied...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Thank you so much <3 I like how you describe love, its so true :) Thanks again and I hope it does work out :)
NikitaBliss replied...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Just Keep up the positive thnking, and do your best. I'm sure your a very lovable person. xD Don't say this is a problem either. Its a challenge. And challenge's are always meant to be succeded...!

-Alaina :D

BFG...BigFriendlyGingerxx replied...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 4:16 pm
I hope he sees me as a lovely person :S Positive thinking it is then :) Thank you so much <3 xx
theotherguy... replied...
May 13, 2011 at 3:55 pm
i'm sure he likes you
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