It Starts With The Eyes

August 24, 2010
By skyblue95 PLATINUM, Bear, Delaware
skyblue95 PLATINUM, Bear, Delaware
35 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am paraphrasing, of course. "My only fear is that when they are turned to loving they will find we are turned to hating." -Reverand Msimangu, Cry, The Beloved Country (a book by Alan Paton)


I think it was his eyes. Yes, this was surely it. He had the biggest, brownest eyes in the whole world. They were so perfect. I could get lost in them all day. The only problem was, he sat BEHIND me in history class. It kind of sucked, the whole “I like you, but I’m too afraid to tell you” thing. It was so immature of me. But later, I found that it was all in vain…

Okay, so, you know those Hershey bars, the king sized ones with almonds? Yea, you know the ones. Well, they’re my absolute favorite candy. We had been talking all throughout seventh grade about a relationship, but he kept saying he wasn’t ready. I would ask him almost every day on AIM if he was or not. Did that make me seem desperate? No, I don’t think so, just really excited. Anyway, on Valentines Day that year, I put a drawing of hearts and stuff in his locker and I felt really stupid afterwards. I mean, what if he didn’t like it? Or worse, thought I used the wrong colors! And of course, all of my worrying was for nothing.

“Hey, Sierra, I really liked your drawing,” he said to me outside the school. The second wave of students had been called to go out to the busses, but instead of leaving, he came to see me. How happy I was when he handed me that big Hershey chocolate bar with almonds! But this was no ordinary chocolate bar; it had a note wrapped all around its delicate deliciousness. “Don’t open it until you get home, okay?” he instructed.

“Alright,” I said, which was the only thing I said throughout our entire little exchange here. How dumb of me to say absolutely nothing!

“Happy Valentines Day.” He walked away then, off to go home. And I got onto my bus.

The temptation to open his note was so large, I had to fight it off inside my head. I charged at it like a knight in a shining armor, my Sword of Resistance swinging in my hands. I couldn’t very well disobey him. I wasn’t supposed to open it until I got home. Finally, after a long battle with myself, the bus came to my stop. Scaring the two other boys getting off here, I ran down the street. Even though I was out of breath, I kept going. Past the neighbor’s driveway, past the 3 cars in our driveway, past the kitchen, past the living room with my aunt in it, and into my room.

My book bag was quickly wrenched off my shoulders by my hands, and the Hershey chocolate bar, in all of its glorious, almond-studded being, would have to wait. Because the one thing I wanted was what was awaiting on the outside. Yes, the note written on lined 3-hole paper that I was convinced held the key to my happiness in this empty, barren existence of mine. Gently, I took the tape off of the note, unfolded the paper, and read what was inside:

Sierra,
I hope you had a great day. You are beautiful, talented, and I really like you. Would you like to go out sometime? Here’s my number: (302) 265-9857.
Happy Valentines Day!
Matt

Finally! This was what I had been waiting for since I saw those very big, brown eyes in history class. Reading this note took me back to that day, walking in to find that the cutest, sweetest, most sensitive boy in all the world was sitting right behind me. Three rows back and fifth seat from the left. I immediately called him, and the word “yes” was the first thing out of my mouth. He just chuckled and we talked for about an hour. When it was time to get off the phone, I didn’t want to go. I wanted to bask in his sunlight just a little while longer. But we would see each other soon. And I would see his big, brown eyes again tomorrow. Because after all, it starts with the eyes.


The author's comments:
I got the inspiration while thinking of my boyfriend, Matthew. NOTE: that is not a real phone number. (Actually, it could be, but I wouldn't know who's it is.)

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This article has 9 comments.


Dakota_Lynn said...
on Nov. 18 2010 at 2:57 pm
Dakota_Lynn, Oxford, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
But that's not the point here.

"Bask in his sunlight" was a cute comment. This story was adorable. It brought up some of my fonder middle school memories.

on Sep. 25 2010 at 10:19 am
skyblue95 PLATINUM, Bear, Delaware
35 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am paraphrasing, of course. "My only fear is that when they are turned to loving they will find we are turned to hating." -Reverand Msimangu, Cry, The Beloved Country (a book by Alan Paton)

thanks a lot :)

on Sep. 24 2010 at 6:29 pm
starxoxo23 PLATINUM, New Hampshire, New Hampshire
21 articles 0 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."
- Alan Alda

Awh! This is adorable =) I love it. Keep up the great work! 5 stars btw. (:

on Sep. 18 2010 at 10:50 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

This was super cute!!!  Everything was great, and the characters you created were just so perfect for their situation.

The only thing I sort of expected to find in this story that wasn't there, (which isn't nessisarily wrong, it just slipped me up a little bit) was I though their would be some major-dreamy fantisizing about his eyes and the Almond Hershey bar.  The moment you mentioned the girls love of the candy, I thought that she swould just sort of dream about his eyes an dthe chocolate at the same time, their closeness and color, how the chocolate would melt in her warpth, and how she wished he would too.

Anyway, that's my only suggestion, good job!


on Sep. 17 2010 at 5:52 am
mudpuppy BRONZE, Orangeburg, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 475 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a box of cheese and flower petal sometimes it's soft and sweet, sometimes it just plain stinks. - M.J.

This story is as sweet as Hershey Chocolate. Young love is so cute!

on Sep. 16 2010 at 9:45 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Aww, this is so cute. 7th grade love :) You know they say eyes are the window to the soul? Critique: You start out the 2nd paragraph talking about Hershey bars and jump abruptly to the crush. "Well, they're my absolute favorite candy. We had been talking all throughout seventh grade about a relationship" etc. Reading it for the first time, I Lol'd because even though I could figure out what you meant, it sounded like you wanted to start a romantic relationship with Hershey bars. XD Maybe you could add a line like "But more on those later. Matt and I had been talking all through seventh grade..." etc. ;) Or you could move your "I-love-hershey-bars" digression to later, when he actually gives you the chocolate bar. One more thing: passive vs. active voice. Passive voice is when you don't specify the person doing the action of the verb, like in your sentence "My book bag was quickly wrenched off my shoulders". That's kind of a cheat passive voice, b/c you add "by my hands," but you know what I mean. To make it active voice (always try for this unless you have a very good reason to do otherwise) either say "I wrenched my book bag off my shoulders" or "My hands quickly wrenched the book bag off my shoulders." And, again, this story is adorable. :)

on Sep. 16 2010 at 9:21 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

awww that was sweet ^^ i totally loved the way u wrote this!! good job!

on Sep. 15 2010 at 12:51 pm
skyblue95 PLATINUM, Bear, Delaware
35 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am paraphrasing, of course. "My only fear is that when they are turned to loving they will find we are turned to hating." -Reverand Msimangu, Cry, The Beloved Country (a book by Alan Paton)

thanks :) and i will... just not while im in school (which i am right now) and people are looking over my shoulder (which they are) lol

on Sep. 13 2010 at 1:39 am
giggles38 BRONZE, San Jose, California
2 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Come as you are -Kurt Cobain

Oh my gosh, this is the sweetest short story ever!! I am in love with this story:))) Good job, I hope you keep writing more stories...best of luck!


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